Approaching base camp

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

12 Nov 2009

Hi All

As I finished my last post with a mountain climbing analogy, I thought I'll stick with it.

I will be starting R CHOP for the first time tomorrow and I'm a little apprehensive, but I see this as the base camp and if I want to get to the top this is the starting point. I was reading up about the treatment and its side effects, but found it was depressing me so I stopped. I'm happier to go into this in blissful ignorance and then cope with the few side effects that I get, rather than worry about 20 side effects all at once.

Another thing I'm dealing with at the moment is ambivalence; to be honest I didn’t even know the meaning of the word before. I am now commonly experiencing two conflicting emotions at once; I’m turning into an “angry pacifist”. I’m normally very level headed and never really lose my temper, but I‘m increasingly finding things that annoy me. The really odd thing is that at the same time I also get an overwhelming sense off “so what!…live and let live!…it’s not worth get upset about!”. For instance - if another motorist is discourteous part of me wants to shout at him and the other half wants pat him on the back.

Well that’s enough about my mental confusion, I’ll be back soon to let you know which of the myriad of side effects I’m lucky to be experiencing.

All the best

Paul

johnr over 15 years ago

Hi Paul ..... those feeling are natural and once you start the steroids may become stronger but the so what attitude will prevail. I have just finished 8 r-chop and there is lots they can do to help if you do suffer side effects. In the bigger picture whilst i suffered I coped so whilst unpleseant its not to bad.

good luck on the journey, any advice just shout.

best wishes

john
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

r-chop... a strange one this ...i had 6 doses of chop chemo and i was tired out more then anything ,,,it started about 4 days after a dose and lasted over a week....i use to be just getting back to normal then the next dose would be here again..i also know of some people who were fine on r-chop..i so think it effects everyone different....easy to say i know but try not to worry to much there anti sickness pills that will help if you end up feeling sick, if you get tired just put your feet up and relax and dont worry....im sure you will be fine.just think about the next dose and not all the doses to come....one step at a time......remember every dose takes you closer to being better ...im sure you will be fine and any problems you get tell your mac nurse or the chemo nurses....all the best...
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Good luck Paul, I think we've all done the internet research thing, even tho consultants/oncologists warn you against it because you can't guarantee the quality of the information. So I did it, until I wasn't finding what I wanted to hear and what I did find frightened the hell out of me......so like you I thought ignorance was a better tool to start with.

I hope you "breeze" through your treatment.

Love & Strength

Debs xx
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