One of the other things I've really noticed is how very much you find out who you're friends really are when soemthing like this happens. I've had pleasant suprises and I've had some suspicions confirmed about certain people.
One person in particular has truly amazed me and not in a good way. After questionning our 8 year old daughter about what tablets has mummy got (sleepers - very tired at that point) and who has been to the doctors when she got no answer I told her that M has cancer. Cue eyes filling up with tears in the street and lots of general drama. She then decided to send me an email four days later expressing how shocked SHE was by the terrible and tragic news and how SHE had turned to one of her friends for support and guidance in this awful situation that SHE didn't know how SHE was going to cope with!
One phone conversation later which I spent much of time reassuring HER that all would be well and there was nothing to be fearful of - thanks for the support and light hearted chat - not, neither of us hear anything from her until a week after first chemo.
The e-mail comes in - just wondered how M got on with his steroid treatment....Seriously, he's not got a chest infection. So a curt reply goes back to which she decides it's a good idea to trivialise that whole treatement plan and put the word cancer in block capitals at the end of the e-mail. Took my breath!
Took time to calm down and then wrote a fairly kind but to the point reply telling her that this was probably the end of the friendship - it had been going down hill for a while and now would the best time to call it quits etc etc.
The reply was outstanding, it was war and peace that it was all my fault, and my fault that she hadn't got in touch with M directly as she didn't want to bump into me, she probably was risk free if she'd sent a text, my fault that I took her e-mails the wrong was as I know she alwys says the wrong thing - she's in her mid forties, may be she should have learned sometihng by now! Needless to say the delete button was pressed and I slept last night and didn't wake up rehearsing my goodbye speech to her.
People will never fail to amaze me and some of our customers have amazed me in a good way but I suppose more than anything I'm proud of myself for calling time on someone who was only in it for themselves and only wanted to be around for the drama, because at least I can say I was honest about it.
When you have cancer in your life whether terminal or not you don't need people to bring you down and give you more to deal with, you need people you can have a laugh with, who support and understand and just go with it, moods, tantrums the lot because those people make this livable and a bit more bearable
