Hi
My mum is deteriorating following a 2 year battle against kidney cancer which recurred after an 8year remission. I'm feeling pretty lost just now. Things seem to be changing so quickly for her she is struggling to walk now, being sick a lot and is very low. She is still at home but little support, MacMillan nurse went on holiday and there doesnt seem to be anything else to help. mum has a whole pain medication plan but it doesn't seem to be effective anymore. I really want to be more help than holding the sick bowl and rubbing her back. It is so hard to see her like this and she just wants to die. Any advice would be appreciated.
FormerMember
Dear Kaz
so sorry to hear about your dear Mum, what a marvellous battle she has fought against this terrible disease.
Are you in regular contact with your gp? He or she should help you set the wheels in motion for some much needed help in looking after your Mum and making her comfortable. Ususally the district nurses will come in and check every day that your mum is ok and see what she needs etc. She shouldnt be in pain, not with all the medication that can be given these days. Also is she on or has she been on a course of steroids, these can give a much needed boost.
If you can get through tomorrow then first thing on Monday morning get in touch with gp/district nurses and insist that you need help for Mum.
Kaz, you are doing a brilliant job, even if it is just holding the bowl and rubbing her back when she needs it.
So very sorry your Mum and you are in this situation. As JMD says, there is NO reason your Mum should be in so much pain and the Mac nurse being on holiday should have no effect on this. I agree with the advice JMD has given, but would add that possibly a Care package could be put in place, to help both your Mum and you.
I too cared for my Mum and when the time came and it was much appreciated that the Care package was put in place. It allowed Mum's pain to be better managed and allowed me and my sisters & brothers to be able to spend more quality time with Mum, as well as being there to freshen her up or hold the sick bowl. We had extra help that was added to when needed.
You are doing a wonderful thing for your Mum and as JMD says, I too send you strength. If you are unlucky enough not to get any proper response from your G.P. regarding your Mum, then please contact your Mum's oncologist and his/her team. The hospitals have special teams in place to help in these situations. Also you could 'phone the MacMillan helpline number and I am sure they will let you know the best people to contact in your area.
Sending some comforting hugs for you and your Mum,
Love, Rose x x (((((((((((((((((((((((((( gentle hugs ))))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you for your comments. It has really helped me to know I'm not so on my own with this. Dad and I going to get in touch with GP tomorrow and hopefully get more support for mum.
I hope you managed to get things sorted with your GP. I am so sorry you and your Mum had to go through this over the weekend. It really should not have happened.
