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Head and neck cancer: don’t let eating problems get in the way of your social life

4 minute read time.
FormerMember
FormerMember

Head and neck cancer is the seventh most commonly diagnosed cancer, with over 62,000 people living with it in the UK. Cancer can occur in any of the tissues or organs in the head and neck, including the mouth, throat, thyroid or larynx (voicebox). Most head and neck cancers are treated by surgery, radiotherapy, or a combination of both.*

The illustration on the left shows a cross-section of the head, with the sinuses, nasal cavity, nasopharynx, floor of mouth and tongue labelled. The illustration on the right shows the inside of the mouth, with the lips, hard palate, soft palate, oropharynx, tonsils and tongue labelled.

Eating and socialising

Treatment for head and neck cancer can cause problems with eating and swallowing. Such problems can be more pertinent during social occasions, which are often based around carefree eating and drinking.

Those who are suffering from eating problems (including anyone who has had chemotherapy – not just those with head or neck cancer) can often feel more self-conscious or anxious on such occasions. If you have difficulty eating here are some suggestions you may find helpful for still enjoying those social occasions:

  • If you feel self-conscious about eating in front of others, first get used to eating at home with people you know. When you feel ready to try eating away from home, do something simple to start with, such as going to a café you know well and ordering something easier to eat. You can build from there as your confidence grows.

  • If you’re worried about keeping family or friends or colleagues waiting while you eat, talk to them about this. They can reassure you that they don’t mind you taking longer. You’ll probably find they’re more relaxed about it than you think.

  • When inviting people over for a meal, we often make allowances for guests with different dietary needs, for example if someone doesn’t eat meat or can’t eat gluten. So tell your host in advance if you need food of a certain texture or thickness, or if you can’t eat spicy food. This helps them to prepare food that suits you. Or you can ask if you can bring your own food to be heated up.

  • If you’re going out to eat in a restaurant, try to look at the menu before you go. You can find out if they offer meals that suit you or that can be adapted for you. Try contacting them in advance to ask if they can make changes to a dish, such as adding extra gravy, leaving out certain spices, or blending your food.

  • If you take some meals as liquid supplements, ask the restaurant if they can provide you with a cup. This means you can take a liquid supplement meal while your friends order from the menu.

  • People who don’t know you may ask about your eating difficulties when they first share a meal with you. You may find it helpful to think of what you want to say beforehand. Or you might decide you don’t want to explain it at all. You could ask your host to tell other guests in advance and add that you’d prefer not to talk about it. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.


Although you might feel worried about eating in public, it is important to remember that social occasions are about spending time with family and friends. Hopefully these tips have reassured you that loved ones do not mind being flexible about food, and care much more about enjoying spending time with you!

When this happens to you and you look at yourself in the mirror, you wonder what on earth you are going to do. But there is a future. Yes, it’s life changing, but it’s not the end of the world.

For more information, you may find these free booklets helpful:


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Sources

*Macmillan Cancer Support. The rich picture on people with head and neck cancer. http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Documents/AboutUs/Research/Richpictures/update/RP-People-with-head-and-neck-cancer.pdf

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Abi ... although I'm into my seventh year post-treatments for floor of mouth cancer ( see my profile for more details ) eating can be extremely difficult. Due to the consequences of both surgery and the following radiotherapy I can no longer eat ' normal ' foods - everything has to be soft or well chopped with loads of gravy / sauce so eating out can be a sore point.

    Some years ago, I did try having a meal out ( mashed potatoes and chopped veggies drowned with gravy ) but as I had to use a spoon at the time, I felt the strange looks from fellow diners ... it was hard to hold back the tears and we left fairly quickly.

    Now I'm happy to eat in front of my close family because they understand and don't mind if I sometimes make a bit of a mess ... further procedures caused by the long term RT effects meant me losing my lower teeth / bridge and dental implant. So occasionally I might ' dribble ' a little food - loss of feeling in my lower lip doesn't help much either ...

    All this combined has made me very reluctant to attempt going out for a meal so I do miss out on a social life in the respect. Maybe one day I'll get the confidence to try again and thank you for the information ... maybe I should ask if the chef would microwave my Wiltshire soft meal for me ? !

    Joycee x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Abi. Thanks for posting this, very informative. I'm 18 months after treatment now and eating out is definitely a problem. I went to a formal buffet at Xmas and there was literally not a thing there I could eat. Delicious looking canapes etc but all very dry and with nothing available to dip them in.

    I find I do better with less formal meals. I enjoy going to MacDonalds. I can have a milkshake or a MacFlurry, and it doesn't bother me if everyone else is chomping burgers and fries. I also like pub meals as I can just have a soup starter followed by some sort of pudding.

    My favourite eating place is the local chinese all you can eat buffet. I find the rice and noodles easy to eat if I take plenty of sauce to go with them. The only problem is that I can only still manage small platefuls of food. I used to be able to eat 3 platefuls there, now I'm lucky to finish one!

    I find eating at other people's homes for the first time to be difficult. I explain in advance what I can manage, but I find some people just don't get it and I can arrive to be confronted with something that I can not eat. I agreed with one lady that I could manage a salad so she presented me with a pork pie, an enormous lump of cheese, a tomato and some extremely crusty bread. I always travel with emergency rations in the car now!

    Margaret x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Joycee, thanks for commenting on the blog! Eating is something we take for granted I suppose. And it’s always such a big part of socialising. It must be difficult to have this disturbed by your treatment. I’m glad to hear you are enjoying your meals with close friends and family though. I think it’d be great if in the future you could try going out to eat again, even if you brought your own food and asked them to heat it up. But equally of course you should only do what you feel comfortable doing :) You’ve been on a long journey and overcome so much already! Thanks for all the support you give on the Community. Abi.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Margaret, thanks for your comment. Sorry you haven’t been able to enjoy dinner out recently. It must be hard to have your eating changed by the treatment, but it sounds like you’re figuring out ways around it – there are some great tips for other readers here! Thanks for taking the time to share :) Abi.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello again Abi ... yes indeed it's been a long journey ( which I sometimes feel I'm still travelling ) but you are quite right about trying to eat out again. I have just had confirmation of a lovely forthcoming family event in the summer which will involve a restaurant meal ... I'll have to get my act together, as they say !

    So I'm trying to think of the best way around this one - we can have a word with the chef about a specially prepared meal or perhaps I could take one for them to microwave ? This is something I can't miss out on ... even if it requires a nice ' apron ' of sorts !

    By the way, maybe you could share this helpful blog in the Head and Neck Cancer group, too ?

    Joycee x

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