Cancer and your feelings: Anger Awareness Week

3 minute read time.

FormerMember

1 Dec 2016

December 1st – 7th is Anger Awareness Week. Our editor Imogen talks about why it’s okay to feel angry and how you can cope with your feelings.

We are told that it’s one of the seven deadly sins – a big, scary emotion that can take over everything. But anger is simply a human response to situations that make us feel anxious, hopeless, or out of control.

Why do I feel angry?
If you are diagnosed with cancer, or if someone close to you is, it’s natural to feel angry. You might question why it has happened to you or them. Or you might look for someone to blame and get angry with the doctors, nurses or the people closest to you. You may even feel angry with the person who has cancer.

Not everyone feels this way, but it’s okay if you do. We’re here to help you keep it under control.

How can I manage my anger?

Identify what’s making you angry. Try not to hide other feelings with anger.
Look out for warning signs and try calming techniques like counting to 10 or taking deep breaths.
Don’t let your anger build up. You may end up expressing it in an unhealthy way. Finding a healthy way to express your feelings, like having a hobby or taking part in a sport, could help you release any frustrations. It may also help to write things down.
Talk to someone. It can be difficult to talk with family and friends about how you feel, especially if you’re worried about getting angry with them. You may feel more comfortable talking with someone you don’t know, like a counsellor or people in a support group. And you can always visit The Room when you need to let it all out.

Get the information and support you need. Sometimes understanding our emotions can help us feel more in control of them. Our information about your feelings during and after cancer, as well as talking to people if you have cancer or if you are supporting someone who does, could help. You can also call our cancer support specialists on 0808 808 00 00 for a chat.

Some of our information booklets on your feelings and talking about cancer. Order free copies from be.macmillan.org.uk

How do YOU cope with anger?
This week we want to be open about anger. If you are affected by cancer and have felt, or feel, angry, what’s your favourite way to cope? Perhaps you go for a run, meditate, talk to a friend, or do some gardening. Whatever it is, you could help someone manage their feelings too. Leave us your tips for coping with anger in the comments below.

To see what else Macmillan's cancer information team has been blogging about, please visit our blog home page! You can subscribe to receive our blogs by email or RSS too.

We're with you every step of the way

The Macmillan team is here to help. Our cancer support specialists can answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen if you need a chat. Call us free on 0808 808 00 00.

Comments? Feel free to add them below (you need to be logged in).

Keep in touch Follow Macmillan’s cancer information team on Twitter @mac_cancerinfo

FormerMember over 7 years ago

I have CLL, Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia, which I have had for 4 years, diagnosed at the age of 52. It is an illness that supposed to affect those close to 70. I currently don't need any treatment, just regular blood tests and check ups at the hospital.

Anger because I have it,

anger because it frightens the hell out of me,

anger because people belittle the illness because I am not having treatment,

anger because my first grandchild is due in February and due to the nature of my illness, I may not see him/her grow up.

anger because there is little research , lack of resource for medications and little compassion or understanding from medical staff.

anger because we are officially disabled but the social services/benefits office don't accept our illness.

anger because travel insurance companies penalise us massively.

I am sure there are others who feel as angry as I do, some more so. Cancer is an invader, it affects those with it, those that live with them and those close to them. It doesn't care who it hurts or how but we will beat it.........one day.
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 7 years ago

I have lost my hubby in May my dad last August mum year half ago my best freind last week all to cancer just before dad died he said go enjoy your life hen you and hubby looked after me and your mum week after dad dies hubby becomes nowell who I lost in May horrendous then my best freind last week all to cancer why I'm so angry and lost with no help I have been on this site since May and went to ayrshire cancer support I was looking for group support but none I just can't go back it's not helped me now it's all back after loosing my freind last week I hate my life so so much everyone has gone I love
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 7 years ago

Toffeepop i understand your frustration and anger. Several family and friends have been lost to cancer over the last few years and now both me and my mum have CLL.

My dad has had so many skin cancers removed and now my best friends mate has just been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma.

I never heard the word cancer when i was young, now it seems to be everywhere and everyone i know knows someone with cancer.

You are totally allowed to be angry at cancer but don't let it stop you living your life. I went for counselling after my diagnosis and was shown how to grieve for......... the life i thought i was going to have,

how to accept the life i now had,

how to cope with bad days and the feelings of anger, frustration, loss and fear,

but above all how to enjoy what i did have, my 2 sons, my friends, my work colleagues, and a life that although changed, could be a good life.

It's so easy to say to someone, time heals, but you never heal from loss, what time does is allow you the space to accept, adjust and move forward in the best way you can.

Every check up i have stresses me out days before and i become withdrawn, scared and afraid that this check up will be the one when i get told, sorry but you need to start treatment. My relief when they say, everything okay, see you back here in 6 months is awesome.

Time, patience, support, advice, family and friends, comfort and familiar surroundings and a can do attitude will help to get you to a place where you can live your life in the best way you can.

We will beat cancer ....one day

Best wishes Anne
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel