Before I start my daily updates, I want to note that I’ve had 2 days so far where I’ve felt sorry for myself.
The first was the day I got my results from the first rigid cystoscopy.
When the surgeon told me it was muscle invading bladder cancer and his opinion was RC (Radical Cystectomy … it’s the last time I’ll use the full term) was my best outcome, I was taken aback to say the least.
At that stage I was still an optimist and expected to hear I was fine, and they’ll check again in 3 months or something.
“OK, what if you do nothing” I asked.
“You’ll have 1 to 2 years to live” came the reply.
I was working that day and as wife was also working at home due to Covid lockdown, I walked into kitchen to tell her.
We were both very upset and both told our employers that it was impossible to carry on that day.
We walked along the canal near where we live and talked through options, and agreed RC had to be performed, no matter the other impacts that would bring. Chemo/Radio therapy was on the table as an option but odds of cure not good enough.
Second bad day was on hearing dates and options again from Charing Cross. To see 8th June and 15th June keyed into a computer by my surgeon as dates of operations really brought this home as not just a bad dream, but reality.
Again, I called my boss to explain the situation and that I could not work. This time emotions got the better of me with my boss, but he was so kind and understanding as have been all my work colleagues and friends.
Work have let me take this week as holiday, so wife and I can spend some precious time together before what will be a real challenging few months ahead.
Daily updates begin tomorrow, hopefully with news of RC option that will be performed on Monday.
2 “feel sorry for myself” days isn’t bad if I say so myself. how many more to come?
