Well my counselor is over tonight within minutes, so this will be a quick blog. I have been really feeling the pull these last two weeks. Everyone getting merry and talking of spending times with their mums and then bang, my heart drops as I realise I will never get that again. Why is it all the talking in the world helps at the time and then you hit these god awlful milestones -such as christmas.
I am looking forward to it do not get me wrong, but in a different way to anyone else that has not lost anyone dear to them. I cannot believe the hurt I am feeling again. hearing that saying, still, well i know its hard Al, but she's in a better place and not in pain. No, she is not in a better place because she should not have gone in the first place. My dear mum had her full brain intact when she passed, and as much as try and say to myself I am sure she was ready, how do I know that, was it just my mum being strong to the end and not wanting her kids to see her being weak.
I think I may have coped you know if I had not watched Noels Christmas Presents. Oh
