Well it's officially begun for me... the year of the "firsts" First year without my mum on my birthday yesterday... I generally am all up for celebrations but this year ...
What can I say, I woke up crying, set my sister off crying, went to visit mum at the cemetry and cried and spent the rest of the day in a pretty awful mood.. it'll be 3 months this friday I wish i could say its getting easier but it really hasn't..
Am I supposed to learn something from all of this?
ahhhhh! thanks for listening
xxx
FormerMember
Hello we havent emailed before but just read your blog and it brought a tear to my eye too, my daughter was 23 yesterday and me her mum has just started on the long road to recovery, was diagnosed in July this year, started treatment yesterday 6 long weeks of chemo and radiotherapy, i wanted to contact you simply cos im a mum of 3 daughters 24 23 and 17 and i know how this has effected them with my illness.
Nothing wrong at all with crying, we call ourselves "the emotional family" always crying together but its a release im convinced of, my love and best wishes go out to you and your family at this sad time, i cant pretend to tell you i know what you are going through my parents are still here in their 70 s but i can imagine and just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers and i ve been saying a lot of them lately i can tell you.
Those 'firsts' are really hard, but they do get easier. That's not to say that you ever forget, it's just that the raw feeling eases. I lost my dad 11 years ago and I still talk to him, particularly so in the last few months. Just looking at my wedding photos can set me off, but at the time of his death it was a sweet release for him, no more pain.
You and your family are also in my thoughts and prayers,
I just managed to life through the first week without my mom. I was outside 5 mins ago watching on the sky and thinking that this has been the longest time of my whole entire life that i havent talked with my mom. We actually used to call every day after i moved out to study.
I know what you are gonig through (ofc everyone copes with their own way) but definitely do know what kinda of feelnigs you are having. And i think it must have been hard for you to take care of your mom for months. But also an experience that you wouldnt give away. I thought it was going to happen to me to, to take care of my mom at home for months. But luckily (if i can ever say luckily in this kinda of situation, but the point is that everything is a lucky when my mom didnt have to suffer for long) she passed away only 2,5 after she even got sick. Ofc she has been sick longer, but after the sympoms she got.
Time will heal, they say that the first year is worst, and then you have to go through all the celebrations (bdays, xmas, mother's day etc.) without your loved one. But im sure it will get better with time. 3 months is still quite short time. But what i suggest you, unless you have done it, live only day by day. If i would start to think much forward i would feel terrible. But i live this day now, without thinking of tomorrow.
I dont really have any smart words for you... :/ im in need of them myself. But if you want to add me to your msn, facebook (if you use them) or send emails, just feel free to do it. And thanks for adding me as a buddy.
It doesn't get easier in a straight line...I guess you have to go through all the "firsts" to feel better on the "second" time around. I am experiencing loads of firsts these days... first holiday without Simon, first wedding anniversary without Simon, first dinner party ( invited) without Simon, first clothes shopping without Simon. Today I struggled to choose an upholstery fabric for a couple of chairs. Simon had very clear ideas about anything artistic.
I think it's perfectly natural to cry at this stage. I shed tears almost everyday these days. It's not that I am miserable. Happy memories often lead to feelings of sadness.
Today, my daughter and her fiance booked a table at a fancy restaurant for me (and they are paying for it too !), but all I can think of is Simon enjoying a gourmet dinner... He really had a big appetite for good food.
Bereavement...it sucks. So let's keep coming back here and rant.
thanks for your comments, they all make a difference! I think the next 12 months is going to be the toughest and Im sure Ill be making use of this site more than ever!
