Making a decision without being given a stage/grade??? Is this how it is??

Hello I am posting this really for advice for my sister who is 46 and just been told she has invasive ductal cancer in her left breast. She had a negative mamograme after finding a small lump beneath her nipple, went for an ultrasound and had a biosy, then was told by her surgeon to make a decision as to what treatment she wants to pursue. He could not tell her what stage or grade it was and is not clear if her lymph nodes are affected. She was given a Breast cancer folder to read but as i am sure most of you feel terrified and unsure, the word cancer is enough to scare the living hell from anyone. I have adviced her to ask the surgeon to stage it first for her as this will surely determine what kind of treatment she decides to pursue. I am really taken aback that they have not been able to do this for her before they consider any surgery. Can anyone out there advise me??? Much appreciated gillian