After a colonoscopy procedure on June 13th 2012 I was diagnosed with bowel cancer (tumour of the rectum) as I am such a young age this was a complete shock to all the medical professionals, my family, friends and especially to myself. In my deepest thoughts I would never expect to be diagnosed with cancer let alone bowel cancer. I sat there in numbness just nodding and saying "ok" as the surgeon explained it all to me. (Still to this day I can not remember anything he said to me) My mum and Ka both sat there with tears in there eyes looking like they had just seen a ghost, whilst asking loads of questions, but yet nothing could come out my mouth. My thoughts were just, what about work? How will I tell everyone? What about Toby? Will I loose my hair? But I just couldn't say anything.
After what felt like a lifetime of being sat in that little room I finally was at home in Toby's arms hugging and praying it was all just a bad dream. Still i felt nothing but numbness, no tears, no crying, nothing. We went to see my aunty, uncle, my friends and I still didn't cry, it was almost like it hadn't sunk in. Until the next night when I was cuddled up in bed, it hit me, it hit me hard. I took one look at Toby and said "I'm really scared" that's it the floodgates opened. He hugged me and tried to comfort me and for the first time in 6 years I saw him cry. He wanted to take it all away I could see it on his face. I knew this was only the beginning of the pain we were about to endure. At 21 years old we suddenly had to grow up very fast and boy, was it fast. Within a few days we went from being a regular young couple who had our whole world at our feet, to being petrified of waking up to more bad news. I had to endure so many visits to hospitals and doctors, work seemed to feel like a weird thing to do all of a sudden. But in between the C.T scan, PET scan, fertility clinic and the surgeon meetings I managed to squeeze in a few shifts. (It was the only normality I had left all of a sudden.) just to be able to sit and play with the children who I so dearly love seemed the easiest thing to do. But once I was told I may never be able to carry a child it suddenly became the last place I wanted to be. My dream of being a mum, having my own family. Crushed. In a few short seconds.
We decided my best chances were to harvest eggs and then when it comes to starting a family, we would look at our options. I was determined this was not going to be a right off. I will not stand by and watch my life fall apart because of some stupid disease. CANCER PICKED THE WRONG GIRL TO MESS WITH!!!!
