New to all this blogging stuff and hoping that getting stuff off my chest will help. Sure nobody will read this, ranting is never very entertaining.
Tomorrow we go to see the lovely (though never has any good news for us) Professor. Our last visit, 2 days before Christmas was to find out if my husband’s 3 months of hell on Sutent had done any good, we wanted a 'yes it's great' or a 'no it's not worked', no shady grey areas please. However, what we got was. 'Well two tumours are the same' (good), 'one tumour is slightly bigger but looks better in the middle so the tablets have worked' (very good) 'BUT we have found something on your liver but we don't know what it is' so maybe it's not worked after all (oh dear).
On the plus side they spotted some things on DH's liver a few years ago which sent us into a major panic and turned out (4 months later) to be just some random harmless spots. Obviously we are trying to tell ourselves that these are the same spots making a guest appearance after being rejuvenated by the Sutent.
At the time there was no secondary tumours, now there are three, can we be that lucky again to have another false alarm?
DH is really not well with shooting pains from his shoulder (where one tumour is) and being very bloated and uncomfortable in his tummy. I've of course tied this in with the shoulder pain that you can get with a poorly liver. Obviously I've not told him this, maybe he googles less than me.
A lovely but slightly sad Christmas and New year later and we go back tomorrow where all the old scans on file should have been compared to these new spots to confirm if they are the old ones (all good and the treatment is working) or it has in fact spread to the liver. I really hope they have a definite answer, we need to know, the uncertainty is killing me. You can deal with facts, you can make firm plans and get on with life. We are not in a position to waste 6 weeks waiting for the spots to either do something or be identified as harmless when time is not in great supply.
We have decided that if the news is bad we are asking the Prof if we can go far away for some sunshine while DH is well.
I'm feeling very teary and emotional, as I always do in the days leading up hospital visits. Wrong song on the radio and I'm in floods. New waterproof mascara is doing me proud though, LOL!
Will keep smiling and keeping it all in xx
