48hrs later...

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

28 Sep 2012

It's been just over 48hrs since my Mum was diagnosed. It still doesn't feel real...I feel numb...I can't fathom what we have just been told. 6 weeks ago, we thought she had a bout of sciatica...and now, we've just been told my Mum may not be with us next Christmas.

Afraid. Numb. Shock. Upset. Angry.

It's not real...

I'll write down the timeline shortly, to explain how we are where we are now. It's shockingly fast and unimaginably unfair. But right now, I/we are still dealing with the rawness of it all.

How your world can be turned upside down in one 10min Outpatient appointment...

Cruton over 12 years ago

Hello firstly I send you and your mum the biggest hug I know it's not much and I wish I could offer more.You are so right you wait in the waiting room filled with fears,worries and hope you walk in to see the Doctor and it's as if some one pulls the rug from under your feet while hitting you with a sledgehammer.There is such a range of emotions going on so many thoughts running through your mind.It can seem strange the the world seems to carry on as normal when nothing in your world is right.Cancer is mean,cruel and unfair and I'm sure it will take time for you to sort out your feelings.I hope you too have some support to help you through this terrible time.Cruton x
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Thank you Cruton for your comment. You are so right when you say it's like the whole world is carrying on as normal when nothing in my world is right. That's exactly how it feels. I think knowing there is no cure makes us feel so hopeless. And not knowing what's going to happen and when? We see the Oncologist for the first time tomorrow morning...perhaps we'll get some clear answers to the ever growing list of questions we compiling. Mum and I can have quite frank and honest conversations together...it's not so easy with my Dad who will also need support. I'm fortunate that I've got a very supportive and loving partner who has been absolutely amazing with both me but also my parents. That has made all the difference these passed 2 weeks since we effectively moved back in so I could care for my Mum when her pain started getting worse and at the time all we had was GP advice on what to give her (which clearly wasn't enough). She's now been on liquid morphine since Wed which is being reviewed with the Palliative Care Dr on Wed...it's made all the difference getting her pain score from 7-8 to 0-1. Perhaps we'll be slightly more enlightened this time tomorrow. Thank you for your comment...it's comforting to know there are others on here that can offer both words of advice but also of comfort who know what we're going through.
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hi jingarfield im so sorry you are in this situation but this site can be a lifeline,when other people dont seem to understand.You are right about the shock of finding out.Both my parents have incurable cancer.Mum was 64 which is so young then it reccured this spring.In july we found out Dad has small cell prostate cancer which is usually less than a year.They have had 50 hosp appointments and 3 weeks admitted since june !! Next week is my birthday and its hard to grasp it could well be my last with them,This news will take time to absorb and you will find a level of "normality "look after yourself too this has been a shock to you all i hope the meeting with the oncologist gives you answers and a treatment plan take care Paula xx
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Thank you Paula for your comments. I'm so sorry to hear of your own story - how ones world can be turned upside down in an instant! Its my 30th at the end of this year...the thought my Mum won't be here to see the next one scares me to death! I hope you find a way to really enjoy yours, in some shape of form...make the most of your time together...that is something I'm getting very used to hearing. Our meeting with the Oncologist went 'well' by way of information gathering...at least they seem to want to throw all resources into the mix. I am still in shock but can feel the 'god damn it, we're gonna fight this all the way' attitude starting to creep in...perhaps that's my coping mechanism. Who knows. I just go with it and take each day as it comes...I think that's the only way. There are no right or wrong answers. Happy Birthday for your upcoming celebrations Paula, I will be thinking of you all. Jemima xx
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