I have been struggling to get my head around things over the last few weeks, I am hoping that this will help.
Me and my mum are very close and I thought the worls was going to end on Wednesday 27th January 2010.
She had not been feeling well since June 2009 and the doctors kept on telling her that she had a bladder infection and she kept on taking the antibiotics they were giving her and didn't question them. Over Christmas she wasn't herself, the bright and bubbly person who was allways game for a laugh, she was tired all the time the bladder thing was not going away and her asthma was getting worse, then came the migranes at the start of January.
While shopping I had noticed that her left eye had dropped and there was somethiung really not right so on Monday 25th January she went to the opticians who spotted something and made her an appointment for the next day at the hospital, during that appointment she was told that there was a mass behind her eye and she would need more tests (or that is what she told me, she had been told that it was probably cancer and they would need to see her on the Wednesday)
Wednesday- mum had insisted that I went to work and everything was going to be fine but I had a feeling in my gut that it wasn't going to be strainght forward. 12pm the phone call came, there was no conversation just 'Frances its cancer, I'm so sorry'. I went into complete melt down, what is going to happen? how do we tell my brother? I had to leave work but didn't know what to do, mum wouldn't let me go to the hospital so I just had to wait. when they came home it was as if there was nothing wrong, dad went for a chinese and nothing much was said apart from the4 fact that she needed a full body scan on the Thursday to find the pimary cancer as the 2 tumors in the brain were secondary.
Thursday I picked my mum and nan up in the morning, the car was silent on the way to the hospital, for the first time ever I didn't know what to say or do. we arrived at the hospital and mum had to drink this stuff and walking up and down the corridors brought back the most horrible memories of 5 years ago walking along the same corridors for the same reasons with my then 9yr old cousin who was diagnosed with Nonhodgkinsons limphoma, the tears and panic along with the teriffied looks and screems were ringing in my head and I couldn't belive that I would have to go through it all again with my mum, luckily Gwen (my cousin) has been clear for nearly 4 years now. We were called back to the hospital that day and the doctor said that they had found the primary throughout her bladder and it had spread to her lungs and brain. Mum hadn't taken it in, nan was in shock and I didn't know what to do, then came the waiting game.
We went to see the Urologist yesterday and allong came another blow, there was another lump in her umbilicle area (why? what else could they find?) The doctor wasnt very helpfull and seemed stumped, I don't think they know what we are going to be tackling. Today she has had her biopsy and it will be another wait untill the results come through and the team talk about what to do next.
My mum is allways the strong one and I hate seeing her not well, she has been so supportive of me over the las 4 years, I have had surgery on my spone 3 times and she was ther every day for me and I hope I can be there every step of the way for her. I anyone can beat this then my mum can because she is invincible xxxxxx
