Well I suppose mum has felt good since last Thursday (June 3rd) and I did say then we had the first sweet taste of normality but now I'm having doubts!
Mum is on very little medication, is not having pain and feels reasonably ok, however, there are still one or two worrying things. She has a very sore mouth and went to the dentist this Thursday. He reckons this is due to her mouth being dry as a result of the RT and as she has a top denture it has been rubbing on her gum. He has given her difflam and something to soak her false teeth in but she doesn't feel any of it is helping. Her gum is inflamed and althought she is trying to keep the teeth out as he told her to she won't go out without them (don't blame her!) and she can't eat or drink without them. However, it's no worse so we'll just keep an eye on it.
The other two issues are worrying me more although I don't think mum is necessarily aware of either. She has started to cough again, not all the time but I had got used to not hearing it and as that was what started all this off I panic each time I hear her cough. She also seems to have become a little unsteadier on her feet again. This had gone completely and a week ago she was striding out but now she's a bit shuffly and has the odd stagger (not booze related!). She said yesterday her legs felt weak. Theoncologist had given her steroids for two weeks and they finished on Thursday just gone so I'm wondering if that has reduced her energy a bit and made her less steady.
She used to be running round the house every day with the hoover and duster but since she became poorly has done less and less. 7 months of sitting in the chair watching TV would make your legs weak right? I've suggested she go out for a walk but she won't do it. Says she feels like a fool walking round the block but I think it's more nerves as she has lost her confidence. She has had two bad falls in recent weeks and is covered in bruises, especially on her arms which look like blood near the surface of her skin. I'm not expecting her to run a marathon, she is 74, but I do think she needs to start doing more, even if it's just around the house. She won't climb the stairs or even walk down them and uses her stairlift all the time. Again I think this is more to do with confidence.
The thing is I feel responsible for this as I wouldn't let her move after diagnosis. I was so protective. I suggested yesterday that she maybe start to do some dusting or a bit of hoovering. She then said 'when I do things you tell me off and when I don't you tell me off'. I pointed out that I didn't want her to do everything at once and only wanted her to do little bits to get herself more mobile. This morning she did all the dusting downstairs so I suppose that's a start but I just don't think she's feeling as well as she says. She seems a bit low.
I am hoping this is just because she's come off the steroids, anyone experienced this themselves or with a member of their family? Anyone know if I'll ever stop being paranoid about every ache, cough and pain she has being the cancer coming back? I feel very frustrated as I feel we should really be enjoying life rather than me worrying all the time. Mind you I have always been a worrier! Well that's my rant over for now. Good or Not Good? I'm not sure!
Finally,I'll just quickly mention wee Charly Johns. At 2pm today she will go through a really important spontaneous breathing trial. She has made some good progress over the past couple of days and this trial is really important. I'm praying hard that it is successful or, at least, shows some more positive signs than last time.
