I had very little sleep last night worrying about my welfare meeting today at 1.30pm. I was dreading it but I was definitely better at coping with going in and was much more communicative than last time.
This time there was a new HR woman as the other one had left since my last meeting. I wasn't too keen on her as she fired a few questions at me and I didn't think that was her role. Don't get me wrong I suppose she was being sympathetic but I didn't need to be asked if I felt numb and I didn't need to be told it had taken her 2 years to get over the death of her father!
Anyway Colette was quick to intervene and was lovely as usual. We've discussed a phased return and I've asked her to put something on paper that will give me a picture of what the phased return would look like. We've agreed that she will put together a sort of action plan that I can consider. She is referring me back to OH so that I can take the action plan with me and discuss it with them. I will also be able to discuss this with my GP when I next see him so that he can sign me fit to work as long as certain concessions are made to ease me in. I've told Colette as much as I can't see myself back at work I know I need to get back for my own sanity. I've also told her she maybe needs to push me a bit. We've arranged to meet again in 4 weeks time and in the mean time she will sort out the action plan and get it to me as well as arranging an OH appointment.
I am also trying to be more proactive in terms of re-engaging with the real world. So far I have sorted out 3 social events with friends. The first is a visit to ChillfactorE with a couple of colleagues who are now retired, I love skiing and am really looking forward to it. The second is a 3 night break to the lakes with 2 of my old school friends and the third is a few days down in London to spend some time with my friend Nuala, her hubby and her kids. Tonight I feel a bit more hopeful that things will be ok. I know I'm not over losing mum but I also know that if I wait until I'm over it I will never get back to work or rebuild my life now that mum is no longer here and mum wouldn't want that. If she's looking down on me tonight hope she will be happy that I am, at least, trying to move forwards. So tonight I feel more hopeful!
