January 22nd 2010 - I feel dreadful, what's wrong with me?!

1 minute read time.

Don't know what's wrong with me.  I haven't slept well for about a fortnight, something I usually don't have a problem with.  I feel headachy, light headed and my muscles ache and yet I don't think I'm physically ill.  I would understand it if I'd been like this when mum was first diagnosed but she is doing so well and I don't think I'm worrying consciously, yet I don't feel right.  

I just feel absolutely exhausted.  I have no energy and feel very low.  This morning I got up for work but just didn't feel well enough to go.  I feel so guilty as it's my mum that's ill not me and school have been so good in allowing me to take time off to take mum to appointments etc. but I just didn't feel well enough to go today.

I had M.E. about 10 years or so ago and I'm worried because I feel very similar to the way I did then.  I can't afford to get ill as I need to look after mum and I know she is worrying about me because she can see I'm not right.

Any other carers had a sort of delayed reaction to diagnosis?  I'm interested to know if this is par for the course and if it will pass.  I can't begin to describe how tired I feel.  I go to bed feeling rough and get up feeling rough.  It's got progressively worse this week and it's really worrying me.  My friends say I should go to the doctor but, to be honest,  I wouldn't know what to say and don't think he would be able to help.  If he asked me what I felt was wrong I would say I'm exhausted, have a constant headache, feel lightheaded, have muscle aches and am struggling to sleep.  Not much eh!?

Oh well this blog has always been a diary of how mum is gong on but today I've had a rant about myself.  I am currently in bed (1.35pm).  I got up at 6 for work and have just come back to see if I can maybe get some sleep.  My vision actually feels blurry with tiredness.  If anyone has experienced this please let me know.  I need to make sense of it and get back to being the strong, practical person I normally am. 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Caroline, the way you are feeling is

    not surprising, you have been so worried

    about your mum these past few months,

    you have put yourself to one side and

    consertrated on getting your mum thru

    all her treatment. Now she has picked up

    so your body has sort of gone flat. You kept all your strength for your mum. now

    your body is saying its my turn. As your mum has got better you have started to

    relax and now all that tension that you

    kept locked in is coming out and so is

    your exhaustion. Take time out, put your

    feet up do whatever your body tells you

    and very soon you will be your old self.

    With Love Lucylee. xxx