January 22nd 2010 - I feel dreadful, what's wrong with me?!

1 minute read time.

Don't know what's wrong with me.  I haven't slept well for about a fortnight, something I usually don't have a problem with.  I feel headachy, light headed and my muscles ache and yet I don't think I'm physically ill.  I would understand it if I'd been like this when mum was first diagnosed but she is doing so well and I don't think I'm worrying consciously, yet I don't feel right.  

I just feel absolutely exhausted.  I have no energy and feel very low.  This morning I got up for work but just didn't feel well enough to go.  I feel so guilty as it's my mum that's ill not me and school have been so good in allowing me to take time off to take mum to appointments etc. but I just didn't feel well enough to go today.

I had M.E. about 10 years or so ago and I'm worried because I feel very similar to the way I did then.  I can't afford to get ill as I need to look after mum and I know she is worrying about me because she can see I'm not right.

Any other carers had a sort of delayed reaction to diagnosis?  I'm interested to know if this is par for the course and if it will pass.  I can't begin to describe how tired I feel.  I go to bed feeling rough and get up feeling rough.  It's got progressively worse this week and it's really worrying me.  My friends say I should go to the doctor but, to be honest,  I wouldn't know what to say and don't think he would be able to help.  If he asked me what I felt was wrong I would say I'm exhausted, have a constant headache, feel lightheaded, have muscle aches and am struggling to sleep.  Not much eh!?

Oh well this blog has always been a diary of how mum is gong on but today I've had a rant about myself.  I am currently in bed (1.35pm).  I got up at 6 for work and have just come back to see if I can maybe get some sleep.  My vision actually feels blurry with tiredness.  If anyone has experienced this please let me know.  I need to make sense of it and get back to being the strong, practical person I normally am. 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Sorry to her you're not feeling well Caroline but maybe you should go and see the doctor, just to be on the safe side.  In any event I hope you're soon feeling better,  hugs to you and Mum, Jay x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Sorry to hear you're not feeling well Caroline but maybe you should go and see the doctor, just to be on the safe side.  In any event I hope you're soon feeling better,  hugs to you and Mum, Jay x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Caroline,

    I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I came very close to having a breakdown soon after my Dad's diagnoses.I was getting married in Oct 09 and my Dad became ill. Within a week of our wedding he had a colectomy and was diagnosed with cancer.He has mets on his liver and some on his lungs. I wanted to postpone our wedding but my Dad wanted us to go ahead,so for him and for my family I went through with it. On the day I held it together for most part. It was afterwards the enormity of the whole thing hit me.I couldn't switch off at night thinking about things. I didn't have the energy to get up any morning because I hadn't slept well. I had to take some time off for myself.Yes I did feel guilty because here I was perfectly healthy physically and my Dad is fighting cancer.

    I got fantastic support from my hubbie but as well as that my family have started helping out more at home with my Dad.My brothers are helping with chores and driving Dad for chemo.I try to get Mum (who is caring for Dad at home) out at least once a week for time out. Dad is doing okay. I think we are coming to terms with his diagnoses. I am not sure if he has yet though as he doesn't talk about it.

    I would advise you take time to see a GP to rule out anything else and then take some time off for you!

    You need to take care of yourself.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Cel

    This describes me and my experiences to the very letter. Cel, you could have written that account about me.  I believe it relates directly to the role of a carer.

    Hugs Cel coz its our path in this unwanted journey of Ca but this is the carers role.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hey caroline, yes hun you are normal . we all go up and down at times , or i do anyway, but you should see dr just to put your mind at rest,  take care , big hugs jenni xxxxx