Just had a bit of a blow. My uncle phoned to say my cousin is really poorly with a bad cold or possibly flu. This might have to put our trip to Scotland on hold as mums immune system will be at its lowest when we go up and none of us want to risk her getting anything. She is, understandably, down and saying thigs like 'what's the point in having this treatment if I can't live my life!' 'I feel like a leper!' 'Not going to get better anyway'. My strength of character crumbled and I have just cried my eyes out. Christmas is about the gift of life. I adore my mum and want her to enjoy her life with me and the rest of the family. I have a strong faith but it has been shaken tonight. Do we ignore the risks and go up or accept that she needs to be protected from infection for the next few months and stay at home? Mum says she is disappointed but will be happy as long as she spends Christmas with me no matter where we are. I'm crying again now as I just don't know what I'd do without her. That's why I feel I've got to protect her. Am I being selfish? I need to do what she wants and what will make her happy.
Ah well, tomorrow is another day. I'll ring Christine, mums CNS, and see what she thinks. They had told us to go ahead and go up to Scotland as long as everyone was healthy! Can't think of the last time my cousin had even a sniffle. My uncle is really worried Fionas daughter Rebecca will get it. She adores mum and is always kissing and cuddling her. You can't tell a five year old not to go near her favourite great aunt. I'm ranting, so off to bed now. Best to sleep on it.
