Nearing the End of My Mum's Journey

Sosanna,

I lost my father on Monday. The emotions are raw and the memory is still vivid. I am going to be honest with you so you can be prepared and strong and not have any regrets.

You by now know that sleeping for long periods and lack of eating are indicators that indeed the end is near. Your mother sounds like a strong woman and I believe she is keeping this up for her family. Tell her not to be afraid and most of all that you love her.

In my 23 years of life I only ever remember telling my dad I loved him twice, and one of those times he was on his death bed. Anything you have or want to say make sure you do it. Let me tell you now that this will be one of the most difficult things you will ever go through but somehow you are going to find immense strength. Somehow when that time comes you are going to stay strong for your mum so she won't be afraid and you will say goodbye.

I know I am sounding harsh or a know it all but Sosanna but this too will pass. Just do all you can before that time comes to make your mum happy and safe emotionally because if she is able to bare it then so will all of you.

Bless you and your mum and family. I pray she will be comfortable and go peacefully with her loved ones near by. Remember to look within yourself for strength and calm and you will overcome this very sad time. If you need to talk or have questions I am here.

Annabelle

Hi Sosanna

Sending you all my love and hugs and strength for what we all know is such a traumatic time for you.  I can only echo what Annabelle has already said.  You will find the strength from somewhere and my thoughts are with you and your Mum. xxxx

Annabelle my sincere condolences to you.  Allow yourself to grieve in your own way.  Don't block the tears because they are nature's safety valve to stop us all going crazy.  Look after yourself and let the memories of all the good times you had with your Dad keep you strong.

Much love to both of you,

Nin xxxx

hello, 

I am 15 and i lost my mum 2 weeks ago, it is the hardest thing in the world! and i completley understand what you're going through! My advice would be to spend as much time with her as possible, i didn't because her hospice was far away and i regret that so much! 

Right now i know how horrible you feel knowing what will happen, but afterwards you can live in comfort knowing she isn't in pain anymore, and if you are relgious that she is in a better place. It gets easier, i am struggling loads at the moment but i feel loads better than i did 2 weeks ago, you just need support and to know you spent as much time with her as possible. I always got comfort in knowing how lucky i was compared to people who suddenly lost their parents in car accidents, as i got time to prepare myself and my mum got time to prepare, I also knew what ws going to happen so spent more time and started doing video's with her. 

I found making video's with my mum, just chatting not even about cancer was very helpfull, i can look back on them and remember her voice and her laugh. I cherish those videos and i also cherish all the letters she wrote for me now and for my future, doing these things will help you for after wards.

I hope this has helped i'm not that great with letter writing, All my love and thoughts.

Heather xxxx

Hi Annabelle, my deepest sympathy goes out to you and i so appreciate you taking time out to reply. xx. You don't sound harsh at all, i really respect your honesty, it's all i want from everyone. I am taking your advice, and yes you are right she is a very strong woman, not once has she complained all through this, and she is still worrying about me. I will miss her so much. Love to you, Sosanna xxx