journey begins

3 minute read time.

Here is the journey so far. 

I have found in dealing with things in other areas of my life a journal or blog has really helped so I hope you indulge me doing one about this. I will try to be as open and honest as I can not only about the medical side but also my emotional journey as I support my Dad through this.

Easter 2010 - My Dad went into hospital as an emergency due to how bad his breathing was. He had nearly 4 litres of fluid drained which they took biopsies from but nothing came back conclusive for anything. It was weird even at this stage although the word cancer had not been mentioned by any health professionals I had a weird feeling / preminition that this was going to be the start of something bigger.

Results came back but there was nothing conclusive in them!

May 2010 - Dad back in hospital up in Manchester, had another load of fluid drained and they also did a broncoscopy and other tests to see what was there as all the xrays and scans have still not shown anything conclusive. They also sealed a hole in his lung lining to hopefully stop some of the effusion. thankfully at the moment Dad is actually reasonably 'normal' and apart from being a bit tired and breathless due to the fluid in his lungs you could believe that it is just a bad infection rather than anything else. At this point he is still under the chest specialist.

Results are in, we have been told there is Cancer but the chest Dr hasn't given any details just refered us to the oncology dept. I feel in limbo and haven't caught up with the emotions yet, I can feel them in the background but they aren't raising their heads yet

June 14th 2010 - the Dr has confirmed small cell lung cancer or adenocarcinoma, it has already spread and we have been told it is non curable. WOW that happened quickly from not know anything to you have this and we can't cure it in a short time. So more biopsies as they want to check for a certain gene mutation to taylor the best 'treatment' for him. Back in 2 weeks. Still not really feeling anything, just feel numb lots of information to take in and find out about.

I went to visit Dad today and for the first time the emotions really hit me and I cried with him. I am sooo angry that this is happening and that he is going to have to go through all of this. I am angry that the cancer has chosen him.

June 28th - Back for the results but they are not yet in so having to wait another week. Clinic really helpful though as I couldn't change my work that day so they changed the appointment so I can be there for support. Dad is really disappointed and down today, he doesn't understand the delays and is very much feeling that each additional wait is making a difference to him living or dying. It just shows me that he didn't take in what the Dr was saying, but I am glad he still feels life is an option as this will help him fight.

July 5th - Back to the clinic tomorrow I really hope the results are in this time. I am so anxious I hope and pray that he has the mutation but deep down I have a feeling that this is not going to be the case. Dad has never made things easy in his life so I just think he isn't going to start now.

July 6th - Results were back but not the way we hoped. Dad has not got the mutation so is going to be starting combination therapy next week. They have said that it will be a 4 dose treatment and they will hopefully be 3 weeks apart.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    So the chemo is over, Dad wasn't great with it this time which is a shame as he is now saying that even if they offer him further sessions after we get the results back of his ct scan today that he is not going to have any more.

    He doesn't feel that the benefits outway the effects that he is getting, which I can understand, I am just having a selfish moment of wanting him to do anything to have him longer. I know that it isn't fair on him but it is there in the back of my mind. I will support him and love him no matter what he decides but it still is difficult.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    oh jack. big hugs. i know exactly how you are feeling as my dad is a month behind ur dad in treatment. my dad is on cycle 2 and is doing ok. however we havent beent old how the chemo is working [or not] :(

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Well it has been a manic few weeks. But we have good news!

    The chemo has done as good a job as they could have hoped for given the stage it was at, so it is really positive. The team have said he is to have a 3 month gap now before anything else is looked at, so that feels really nice. But if he has any deterioration in symptoms before that he is just to let them know and he will be taken stright beack again.

    It is weird after all this time to have something really feel positive, so we definitely have longer together and are going to make as much as possible of the extra time the chemo has given us.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Well it has been a while.

    Dad has had a good fews weeks where it has been possible for him to go and see some family in other parts of the country which he was determined to do. Since he got back though he has started to show similar signs to how he was before the chemo, so he is keeping an eye on it and will have to go back to the consultant if it doesn't improve.

    It has been a very difficult time though as my friends husband died last week (he was diagnosed with various cancers last November) it has effected Dad as it has brought the reality back to him again. There is not much really that can be said either.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Well It has been a long time since I have updated on here. So much has happened.

    We had 6 good months following the end of the chemo where although tired at times, Dad has done really well.

    Since then however things have changed for the worst. Dad had a stroke in March and has also just had the results of further scans back which have shown that the cancer in his lungs has progressed, and he also now has secondary cancers in his spine and brain. Although it did not come as a shock I am still in shock as I know that this is a sign of it being the begining of the end, and I am scared, anxious guilty and so many other emotions, and every time I think about it I want to cry even though I knew it was coming it doesn't help at all.