Hello the ether world of BC sufferers. I've spend a couple
of weeks reading posts not sure whether to blog or not so here I go.
I went for a family history scan with no suspicions about
anything - sister had pagets earlier in the year and just thought I ought to
get checked out! 2 hours later I was choosing the hospital for a referral. Had a 2/3 cm lump which I didn't realise was
there with infected lymphs. Doctor said that she was pretty sure it was cancer
- diagnosis confirmed it one week later.
Husband was really shocked but I feel very calm about it
all. Didn't really get upset when we told the kids - 16,13,11 - I think that I
have an illness that can and will be cured.
Waiting for a masectomy at the moment, another week and half to go - and
think that we will have to cancel our skiing holiday which really makes me
irritated...
I seem to have spent the last few weeks laughing – just
yesterday my best friend likened my body to a dirty loo!! She was horrified
when I said that’s what it sounded like but the analogy was great. We think
that Chemo is like pouring Demestos down a cartoon toilet – Kills all known
Cancer cells DEAD!!
As I’ve not started treatment yet – everything seems a bit
surreal – I feel fine at the moment – just great – actually fantastic. I have a “blessed” life and the cancer has
only made me feel that more with fabulous and supportive friends and the most
special husband in the World. I don’t do
ILL and cannot imagine that over the next few months I’m going to cut open my
body – happily put poison in my blood just so that I can feel like I feel today
– It seems weird.
Had pre op appointment yesterday and I think that the nurses
view me a bit strangely as I’m not depressed/sad/outwardly worried – but that’s
not my way. I just get on with the hand
I’ve been dealt and will make the best of it.
In fact I’m hoping that I’ll have the tram flap reconstruction and get
the flat stomach that I last had 25 years ago – the thought keeps me going and
makes the trauma that I am expecting to experience more bearable. I’ve even
said that a flat stomach will mean I get a belly button piercing next year –
makes my 16 year old quite jealous as she’s still waiting to put on enough
belly fat so she can have hers done!
Booked in hair appointment to have a crop – spent the last
four years growing my hair before I got too old. Had to promise to grow it
again once this is all over. Donating the locks to “The Little Princess Trust”
and raising funds for Breast Cancer Care at the same time, AND my 16 year old is chopping 12” off her
hair too – that’s really brave in my opinion.
Seeing the plastic surgeon next week. Will be telling him
that in my permanent reconstruction (next year – temporary going in next week)I
expect him not to leave any fat behind if there’s more there than I need – Just
praying that he doesn’t tell me that I’ve got the “wrong” type of fat…….I
better not have!!
Not much more to say except – keep smiling – it’s better for
your face muscles.
