This Monday I have my first check up with the breast clinic now feeling quite nervious about it .
In april 2010 I went there feeling well but I had a little lump and being 42 I wasn't to worried about it but then the arse fell out of the world I knew , when he told me I had cancer .I have learnt alot since then like who my real friends are and I'm greatful for that i will cherish them all for ever.
The rollercoaster ride started, tests, scans lumpectomy thinking I would just need radiation but the nasty little cancer cells had travelled to the lymph node so node clearance then chemo going bald which I kind of like to be honest very freeing then radiation which finished xmas eve so what a ride 2010 was for me and my family . Took in all in my stride and mainly with a smile and a few tears and some laughs.
And now I'm over the nasty side effect of both the chemo and radiation and the hair is growing and I'm feeling well which brings me back to how I felt going into the breast clinic that first time ,ok I going in this time lump free but I'm still frighten of sitting in that room with the doctor ,you would think with all of the hospital visits and appointment during treatment it would get easier ,but I was having treatment all to deal with the nasty little unwanted visitor. but now that has stopped and as time draws closure to my breast clinic appointment my mind is in overdrive what if one little cell didn't get wiped out what if it like my boobs saw it as home .
rambling a bit now but its just WHAT IF not 100% sure I could face it again with the same positivtity .
Feeling better for just getting that out of my head
Jackie xxxx
