My head has gone to mush

Hi Jo, I have just posted my first blog - we are not that far ahead of you in this process. This site is very good for getting the facts before you go for your meeting.  However be warned it pulls no punches in some of the descriptions. For me it has been invaluable as i have been able to sort the wheat from the chaf when listening to my dads version of events.

So make sure you take a note pad and pen with you to the meeting.  You need to be quite blunt when asking questions if you do not understand what the specialist is saying.  You might want to discuss wiht your dad how blunt he is prepared for you to be in front of him or whether or not he would give his permission for you to talk to the specialist alone.

There is no easy way to have discussion about lung cancer, it has to be blunt.  I have gone from crying every time anyone spoke to me about it - to now being rather blase!

I found it important to know what phase my dad was - unfortunately he is in the final stages, which is the worst possible prognosis, but it doesnt mean his life has come to a grinding halt!  If anything he is busy now with visitors, and trips out etc, and embracing every day he feels well.

There is some questions suggested on the site for what you should ask - such as prognosis, stage, treatment and actually trials - there are so many clinical trials out there - they can be worth a shot!   Most of all Macmillan are amazing their help line is just the best lifeline ever. If you do feel down - call it!  The people on the other end of the phone have all the time in teh world for you. 

Best of Luck and I really hope things go well for you and your dad.

Alisam, thank you so much for your post. I am taking on board what you have said and will be armed with a pen and paper to write down everything. I am still at the crying stage, and spent much of today with bloody tears running down my cheeks (waterproof mascara is a must when a relative is diagnosed with this terrible disease...note to self, buy some) whenever someone asks me how things are going. I went from weeping to wanting to scream 'how do you think it is going???' However, I manage to smile, and say 'oh its ok, we are bearing up'.

But to be honest, I am not bearing up well at all. I feel lost. I am the only daughter of parents who have been absolutely brilliant to us.I have two younger brothers who are close, but not as close to my Dad as me.  I am my Dad's princess, even now, aged 47! I can't even begin to imagine what life will be like without him in our lives.

My husband put a photograph up today. Its of Dad and me at Christmas 2010. What a lovely gesture and what a lovely picture. Guess what, I cried!

I have to be brave for my daughters, but my God, it's difficult.

I am sure I will get over the tears and shock, and have to put on a smile for Mum and Dad because I know they are struggling too. It's their 50th wedding anniversary on 30th June, and I hope more than anything else in the world, that they can celebrate it as a couple.

I have found this site invaluable, and I know no punches are pulled, which is what I need.

Please keep in touch.

xx