Mother's day woes

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

18 Mar 2012

So, we have been round to Mum and Dad's today to celebrate Mother's day. After battling through the hoards of visitors (brothers and their families) we gave Mum her gifts and saw Dad. He looks in pain (guarded and pale) and on asking Mum, she said he has been in pain all night and most of yesterday. He is taking tramadol, but it doesn't appear to be having much of an effect.

He is such a stubborn bugger, and doesn't want the support team at the hospital to be contacted. This is worrying Mum too, and because she is not in the greatest of health, is worrying us too.

I am going back round to see the pair of them later, and although I don't want to nag my Dad, I hate to see him in pain.

Please, anyone, advice??

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hello Jo,

I am sorry about your Dad. I was sitting here wondering whether it would be a good or bad thing to take the approach with your Dad that his obvious suffering is upsetting your Mum. This might makes matters worse and make him feel guilty or it may just encourage him to get more pain relief that would make your Mum happier. It is up to you as you are close to the situation and your parents. Whatever happens, I am thinking of you and really hope that things improve.

Do take care,

Panda.x
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 13 years ago

Thanks Panda,

I am going to go round to Mum and Dad's later and I will have a quiet word with Dad. I hate to see him in pain, so it must be killing my Mum to see him suffer. I know he is frightened that should he take pain relief, he may not be as compus mentus as he is right now, and he doesn't want to be out of control, so I can understand his reluctance. However, he needs to know that pain relief today is not as drastic as it was years ago (we lost my Grandmother to cancer 22 years ago) and he will be able to function at a much higher level if he is pain free.

Wish me luck in my quest, I hope he will listen to me and allow me to contact the specialist nurses.
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 13 years ago

Well, it worked! I went back round there this afternoon, after all the visitors, and burst into bloody tears! After holding it bac k since his diagnosis, it reached the tipping point and I hugged him and cried like a baby.

I then poured out that we couldn't bear to see him in pain, and that if we get in touch with the hospital, there should be some help we can access for him. He agreed, and is allowing me to contact the lung cancer specialist nurses tomorrow...thank the Lord!

Dad did say he was scared they may put a stop to the treatment which commences on Wednesday. I hope I did right by telling him this wont happen, as the treatment is to help with his symptoms.

So, I will be going round there again in the morning and making that call AND taking him into the hospital should I need to.....another late commencement of duty at work, never mind eh.

It is so lovely to be able to come on here and pour out my thoughts and feelings.

God bless. xx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel