what do i do how do i cope with my dads latest news that there is nothing more nurses can do for him ?
FormerMember
Hi anom,
What awful news you've had, you must feel devastated. You don't say what kind of cancer your dad has or what treatment he had, but if he is at home there are lots of sources of help still available.
I think your first port of call should be your dad's GP, who can keep an eye on his meds as well as his physical and mental state. GPs can also arrange for district nurses to visit.
You may need help with your dad's personal care - bathing, toileting etc. - if / when he can't get about by himself. This can be arranged via Social Services, and his GP will probably be able to give you contact details.
There is always help/advice available from the lovely & experienced cancer nurses here at Macmillan, so I'd recommend that you phone them on Monday morning to discuss your family's situation. They will know how to get you any extra help you may need e.g. a hospital-type bed, commode, etc. , and also how to help your dad yourselves.
A very useful contact is your local hospice. Many hospices now provide an "at-home" service so that patients don't have to leave their homes. They are of course experts in end-of-life care and many people on this site have praised them to the skies for the quality of their care and their kindness & understanding with all the family.
Caring for a terminally ill person can be exhausting especially if you are trying to deal with your own emotions too. So please eat properly and get enough sleep! And always remember that we are always here whenever you need someone to ask, or let off steam to. You'll get a lot of support, especially if you join the "Carers" or "Being a Relative" group. people there are coping with similar situations to yours, so they will know at once how things are for you.
I hope this has helped a bit. Hang in there, you're not alone.
my dad has lung cancer, brain cancer, its in the stomach lympth nodes and im not sure where else, he had chemo and radiotherapy. i dont think he has a gp he just goes to the hospital but after moving to live with my uncle he no longer has a gp so im not sure what we can do. he is not strong enough to get up the stairs any longer in myy uncles house so im not sure what to do.
Well I think you should definitely arrange to get him registered with a GP - maybe your uncle's? He'll need a bed downstairs and a commode if there isn't a downstairs toilet. And you should definitely contact the nurses on the helpline here, it's free and the number is 0808 808 00 00. It's open Mon. - Fri., 9am - 8pm. They will be able to give you good advice.
Cancer that's spread to the brain can make the patient very confused and unpredictable, so if your uncle's trying to cope with your dad alone he needs some support, because it is exhausting. I don't know what your family's situation is, but maybe one or two of you could go and lend him a hand?
I'm sorry I can't be more help to you but I do hope you will find the strength you need to get things sorted.
I am sorry for your sad news my sister died of cancer last year and when we where told it was terminal it was a big shock, she went to a hospice and we looked after her in turns the nurses there where wonderful anyone could go they never complained to us regarding if there was quite a few people visiting.
Twirly seems to have good advice all I can say is if it comes to him going to an hospice they are so good to there patients and very kind also just do what ever you can for him now what ever he wants to do let him do it so his time will be as good as it can be.
