I originally came on here last year when my Dad was diagnosed with Bowel Cancer with secondaries in the peritoneum(spelling not a strong point) I didn't want to post then as I knew he may look on here for information and didn't want him reading about how desperately frightened I was for him.
Now I don't have that problem any more as he can no longer get out of bed and my once active, amazing dad is entering the final stages of his fight against cancer - A fight he is losing but still fighting.
I went to see him today and for the first time in a couple of weeks he opened his eyes for a second smiled and whispered I love you too! My heart broke into pieces and I kissed his forehead and left the room.
I can't stop the tears from falling and even though I am having counselling I am in pieces over losing my Dad. I work full time in a fairly stressful job and I find that I am not performing very well at times - My employer is patient but I am think that because I have been on an emotional rollercoaster over the last year their patience may wear thin soon.
My daughter is 2 and idolises her Grandad she asks for him everyday and kisses him when we visit him normally but for some reason today she seemed scared too. He has changed facially so much that I wonder if she knows it is him.
Anyway I thought that by sharing my feelings on here it may help someone else who is going through the same thing or alternatively others may help me.
