the journey

2 minute read time.

my amazing dad has been battling cancer for nearly 2 years now(wish i had found this site then)i thought i would write a diary /blog of how his treatment is going. it all began back in april 2009 when a urine infection showed up a tumour on his right kidney.he was whisked in to hospital to have the kidney removed within a week and the op was a success.he felt great after the op and back to normal within days so it came as a great shock to us all at his 3 month check up that the cancer had returned.they found small nodules on his lungs and tumours in the bone(hip and bottom of back) by the start of october dad had been given the cancer drug sutent.the side effects he felt made him lose weight all his hair went snowy white,had no taste for food and nausea. the nausea was controlled with different drugs.one of the good things about this treatment was you got a 2 week break in each cycle so on his 2 weeks off his appetite returned and he started to feel better. the sutent meds kept him ticking away for 14 months.we got the news end of nov begining of dec 2010 that a tumour in the spine had grown from 7cm to 18cm so the sutent was not keeping the cancer at bay so he was removed from it. this came as a huge blow to mum,dad myself and brother as who knew what the next step would be. he suffered with pains in his legs and a scan showed a non malignant tumour compressing the spine making the legs painful so he had 2 lots of radiotherapy which def helped and shrunk the tumour.dad was told of a new drug that they wanted him to trial.sadly he was not suitable for the trial due to blood counts etc but was told there was a fairly new cancer drug called everolimus(afinitor) they wanted him to try. this however would need funding.the price was very high but like the sutent(which needed funding we were optomistic.the news back 2 weeks later was no PCT had turned us down but dads consultant had applied to another company and they said yes.dad has been on the new treatment 10 days now.the main side effect of this is such a sore swollen mouth with ulcers which stops his ability to eat and drink.he does seem quite out of it at the moment so we are contacting mcmillan nurses and his cancer nurse.

7th march 2011

dad has been admitted to hospital.for the last 4 days or so he has been quite out of it.he is very dissorientated ,grabbing for things that are not there,hallucinations,sleeping 22 hours a day.we have spoken to a nurse and she seems to think it could be to do with his type 2 diabetes as he had a urine reading of 27.8(very high) we were told to take dad to his cancer ward at the hospital where it seems it is not the diabetes but a build up of morphine pain relief(mum did stop giving him this 2 days ago as pain was ok and because he seemed so out of it)they have kept dad in for at least overnite and the morphine has been stopped. they have also stopped the cancer drug for now as his poor mouth is so sore so they want to try an get him back to better health before restarting the drug again. i will update when i have more news.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hiya sorry to butt into your blog but I lost my Dad on Fri as well,would love someone to talk to my heart is breaking, ive added you as a friend hope you dont mind maybe we could help each other Trisha xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 2nd 2011

    thankyou trisha and jules for the messages.anytime you want to chat or talk or rant about how unfair this all is trisha thats fine with me.

    today has been very normal....if there is such a thing now.

    i took my son and his friend swimming .while they were there me charlie and mum went dress shopping as we all wanted something new to wear for dads funeral and we all got something lovely to wear

    we have decided on the music to come out of the church.we have chosen fields of gold by eva cassidy.2 reasons.1 it was the cancer advert song and 2.when i checked what the song lyrics meant it summed up my mum and dads relationship and us as a family perfectly

    mum is staying at home on her own tonight for the first time.she knows we are only a call away and we will be there but she says she has plenty to do so will be fine

    tomorrow my brother is going to see dad.my youngest (14)josh wants to go.im still not sure if i am going to go.part of me does but part of me dosnt...i guess i will have to wait an see what happens and how i feel tomorrow

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 3rd 2011

    this afternoon i am going back to work for a few hours.luckily i work for myself hairdressing and beauty therapy and my clients have been fantastic understanding i just cant seem to work at the moment.i only have a few clients and they are regular clients so i know they will make me feel welcome and at ease.

    my eldest wants us to do a picture board for after dads funeral at his celebration of life so i have found some pics and been burning off others i have on my laptop.

    i think we are going to see dad today in the chapel of rest. i know my brother is def seeing dad and has said he will take josh in for me. mum is still not sure if she will see dad and charlie my eldest does not want to. i am 99% sure i will not see dad.i will go with the family but i dont think i can face going in. does this make me bad? i feel sick at the thought of it and felt ill last night and very upset thinking about it. as i said to sean and him to me,i said goodbye to dad as i held his hand when he died.i sat and chatted with him when he had passed away and he was warm and just my dad. im not sure if i go today it will be my dad there. i believe dads spirit has moved on and it is just his shell in the coffin (i hope this dosnt sound hard and upset anyone) who knows what i will do .my head is very muddled at the moment and i may change my mind. i think im being a bit of a coward as when my brother comes out im sure i will decide then depending on what he says. now i do feel bad leaving this on his shoulders to make me decide

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 3rd 2011

    after my last post this morning i had a meltdown. i was doing the cd for dads funeral and just totally howled and sobbed so much i made myself sick and got a headache

    i went to mums at lunchtime and looked after my 2 nephews while mum steve and my son josh went to see dad at the chapel of rest. they came back and all said dad looked very peaceful and so smart.he is wearing the suit he was going to wear at my wedding in 2 weeks and his old football club tie. josh put a card i wrote to dad a few weeks ago in his coffin and he wrote a letter himself to his grandad.it was sealed and on the front it read"only to be seen and read by u". i thought that was so sweet it brought a tear to my eye. i am still in a way glad i didnt go as i def feel i said my goodbye when dad passed away.

    i have been inundated with cards texts and messages and cant believe how many people truly care . im so touched by them all

    work went well this afternoon and my clients i saw were all so lovely to me

    mum is off to france in the morning to get her brother.it is the first time she has been to his home there so i hope she has a lovely day before they fly back home

    i have a girly night out tomorrow for a 2nd hen nite for a meal and drinks. shame i think im coming down with a cold but it will do me good to get out

    im looking forward to seeing my uncle on sunday .the picture board for dads funeral is nearly finished and me and steve just need to tweek our tribute a little so will do that over the weekend

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 3rd 2011

    mum has just popped over to borrow the sat nav for in france tomorrow. we were talking about how it all went at the chapel of rest when she then told me what happened when they came out back to the car

    as they got to the car there was a piece of paper folded up just under the car. when steve my brother picked it up there was a big U on the front and when he opened the paper there was a  drawn picture of 2 people sat in a car driving with arrows to who they were with the names WENDY and STEVE written on it.....i am totally convinced this is a sign from my dad as he always spelt my name wendy and not wendie (how i spell it) and he so knew that i believed in all this(even if he didnt quite believe)...told you dad,now u have to believe me as u sent me a sign. im sure the U on it is meaning for u as he must have known i was in turmoil wether to go and see him or not and its his way of letting me know its ok

    i feel very calm and relaxed now and spoke to my brother who is going to make a cop of it and give me the original