My dad

Hi Jeniren Good to hear from you funnily enough I did private message you I think it was yesterday to see how you were. I think you should ring the special nurse on Monday. I know we have found out quite quickly in our circumstance if you sit back you can easily get left behind so my advice would be make the biggest nuisance of yourself lol it's the best way to make things happen and get things moving. Despite having had ups and downs in my 43 years my family have always been my constant and I have been truly blessed with untold happiness where they are concerned and this is why for cancer to strike at the heart of us just feels unbearable. It also makes me reflect on the wasted energy and tears through my life on stuff that really wasn't worth it. I also wonder where those 43 years went they seem to have just flown away and although I know where my family are concerned I don't feel I have anything to reproach myself for and feel things couldn't have been any more wonderful I just want to go back and do it all gain and feel a little deeper ,appreciate a little more and for it never to end. I just feel the day dad was diagnosed our lives changed forever. It has only been a little over 4 weeks and already I can't remember what our lives were like before and when I do remember it makes me so sad. My every waking thought is of my dad and his cancer and now it's in every dream. The fortnight after my dads original scan results where he was told it may or may not be operable were just horrible. Mom had a bad fall so she was battered and bruised and has a cracked rib. She is a worry. She looks so tired and stressed but is going at 150mph (she has always gone at 100mph). She thinks if she stops she will never start again. Mom is 72 and still works every morning caring for a man in his 90s. Then some low life stole the spare wheel from under her car so whilst travelling to work early one very cold morning she heard a terrible noise coming from under the car and had to call dad out who then is under the car at the side of the road trying to sort it out but of course all that low life did was steal a wheel from a faceless person. Would they be remorseful if they knew the bigger picture I wonder!!! It's difficult to really know how dad is. His pigeons have gone well all but 2 that will be gone on Monday. My daughter had her photo taken today with grandad and his final two baby pigeons. He was so looking forward to taking her on the training runs and being generally involved with his pigeon world. She may be only 2 but was already showing a keen interest. He always failed with us and the other grandchildren. I was a lost cause because unfortunately I have a bird phobia. He was very wistful today. What a waste of a beautiful day is what he said just sat here.When I quizzed him he said well I would have been out with my pigeons. I tried to give him some encouragement listing things he could do or should be doing but he just keeps saying he can't be bothered. Trouble is I'm the pot calling the kettle black because I feel the same. Gosh looking back at what I've just written it all sounds terribly gloomy and self pitying so on a brighter note Wednesday we had the results of dads pet scan and thankfully in the scheme of things they were good and showed that the cancer is localised and hasn't spread to the lung and therefore we are heading in the right direction for chemo and then the op which is his best chance and for that I am extremely grateful and know we are very blessed. Apologies that this post to you seems to be selfishly all about me. Please let me know how you get on when you call the nurse and how you yourself are. Sending hugs and all good wishes Jo xxx