My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus and our hearts are breaking. It was so sudden we didn't see it coming. At the moment he has been given a provisional staging of T3/4(pleura)N1M0 which we have been told means its a bulky cancer that may or may not be operable as there is concern that it is close to the lung and may have spread to the pleura. He has to have a staging pet - ct, endoscopic ultrasound, staging laparoscopy and general fitness assessment with echocardiogram and pulmonary function testing. I can't stand seeing my dad so sad and frightened. His heart is breaking over my 2 year old little girl whom he has helped raise. He has also taken the decision this weekend to give up his racing pigeons - his life long hobby and passion. I just wish we could turn the clock back a couple of weeks and be back in our happy lives. I just want my strong happy dad back. Has anyone any advice or encouragement it is greatly needed? Has anyone had a similar diagnosis and ended up being operable? Moreover has anyone had this diagnosis and survived?. Please help :-(
With good wishes to all
Jo xxx
FormerMember
Hi Joanne,
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds as though you are very close, and it's been an awful couple of weeks for you since he was diagnosed. It's really sad that he has had to give up his racing pigeons.
I'm glad that you've found our site, as many of our members do find that it helps to have a place to share their feelings and experiences. I see that you've joined our Oesophagus Cancer group- if you post in there, you'll get lots of support from members with experience of this cancer type. You may also find it helpful to join and post in our Carers group, where you will find other members who are also supporting loved ones with cancer.
The Macmillan team are also here to support you - you can give us a call for free on 0808 808 0000, Mon-Fri, 9am-8pm for practical, emotional or financial support.
I dont know anything about your dads illness what I do know is what it is like when your heart is breaking when a love one is seriously ill, you sound like you have a lovely family and you can support each other although it doesnt stop the pain it feel really like your heart is breaking for real I felt like that with my mum.
He sounds a lovely man it is a shame he as had to give up some thing he as love for a long time, a lot of emotions will be going round his head and yours hold on in there Jo he knows he as you which is a comfort if only we could go back I wish that more than anything, what a lovely daughter he as he must be very proud of you.
I wish I could help you more, I am sending you a Huge HUG !
Hi Jeniren
Thank you so much for your response it really touched my heart and meant so much to me because I felt in every word that you truly understand tho of course part of me wishes for you that you didn't because to understand I know you have lived it. I am sorry to hear your heart aches for your mum. Why is it that to have a family that gives you so much love and that you too love so much is such an amazing blessing yet at the end of the day it breaks us in the most unbearable way?
You don't need to wish you could help me more because you have in reaching out and using your precious time and emotion to respond. I truly felt the warmth with which that huge hug was sent and I'm sending one right back. :-)
With all good wishes
Jo x
Thank you so much for your post your words where so lovely it brought tears to my eyes, my mum was so wonderful to me even though she had an hard life with my dad I still long for her to put her arms around me.
Keep in touch Joanne let me know how things are with you.
Take care my friend
Thanks for that brilliant hug I feel better now for it.
How are you and how is your dad? I hope things are feeling a little clearer it is such a shock isnt it.
All different emotions are running at speed around your head when someone you love so much and is ill then comes the numbness like you have been knocked out and just come round, things with me are still the same really my husband still as not heard when he is due to go into hospital so I am going to ring his special nurse on Monday she might have an idea when.
I have been thinking about you and your lovely dad I do hope he his feeling a bit better now.
