When my chemo nurses were struggling to get a cannula into me they would often encourage me to concentrate on something happy. I always said to them that when this is all over I will go away somewhere peaceful, and sit on a verandah watching the sun go down with a large glass of wine. Now finally we are packing up the car and our verandah awaits. I have got my high collared fleeces to keep the sun off my scar, along with my SPF50 and the biggest brimmed straw sunhat I can find. Plus my BioXtra mouth gel and an assortment of various sized water atomizers and bottles. Not to forget my emergency food supplies which are mainly canned soup and stews. The only drawback is that this is typical English weather. It’s been lovely for days but now it is ******* down with rain.
By the time we get there the caravan is surrounded by muddy puddles and the verandah is underwater. Husband is grumpy but I am in good spirits. I have remembered that exactly two years ago I was undergoing my first chemo. Months of Mindfulness coaching have taught me that any day spent away from a hospital is a good day. I am also fond of ducks and I am hopeful that the puddles might encourage some to our caravan. I am proved right when we are woken up at 5am the next morning by loud quacking.
After that the weather brightened up and I got to spend several afternoons on the verandah. I also went out for many long walks. Best of all I found that my appetite came back for the first time since my treatment. We went past a fish and chip shop and the smell of the battered cod was irresistible. I still can’t manage chips but I happily chomped my way through one and a half pieces of fish suitably moistened with some baked beans and a mug of tea. From then I didn’t look back. Another day I ate an enormous helping of steak and kidney pud with mash, peas and gravy. Then there were the chocolate éclairs and the cupcakes. Husband joked that in a few weeks time that I might even be enjoying Pringles again. Well maybe not in a few weeks but I am optimistic that it may be possible in a year or two.
Now we’re home again I’ve been put on the scales and there is a big weight gain. For the first time I am back up to what I weighed when they took my feeding tube out. There is a message to say that my blood test results are acceptable. My thyroid levels are apparently a bit better, and I am now officially over my chemo induced menopause. Best of all I got home in time to see Andy Murray lift the Queens trophy for the fourth time.
Husband says he wishes we’d gone away sooner as the holiday has done me a world of good. I tell him that the time wasn’t right until now. Last summer my mind was still full of thoughts of cancer and I couldn’t have enjoyed my verandah time. He is trying to put our bags away in the loft. I tell him to leave them near the hatch because I have plans to return to a verandah very soon.
