I wasn't planning to do blogs on a weekend, but I've changed my mind as I will need to read this entry to encourage me next time I'm having a bad day. Yesterday I said I was making the most of it as there would never be another perfect day like that again. Well I got that wrong. Because here's another perfect day, and it's even better as it doesn't include a hospital visit.
I wake up and my husband anxiously asks how I am. We are both expecting more reaction from Thursday's bad chemo experience and we are prepared for it. There are buckets strategically placed around the house, an emergency hospital bag is packed, sick bags have been ordered, imodium has been purchased, along with a digital thermometer. When I had to ring the hospital on Thursday night in a complete panic the first thing they asked was what is your temperature? I got the mercury thermometer out of the first aid box and told the nurse it was about 18F. She said that can't be right. I said 18C? She asked how long I'd had the thermometer. I said about 20 years and I think we did drop it on the floor once. So now we have this digital one and I decide to practise with it ready for next time. Eventually I get the hang of it and my temperature is normal.
Saturday mornings I get weighed. I am a bit apprehensive, I've been struggling to eat for a few days and I'm prone to sudden weight loss in times of illness or stress. Years ago I had a bad experience after wisdom teeth extraction and lost a stone in a week. I am under strict instruction to ring my Dietician the minute I start losing weight so she can send the nurse round to start the tube feeding. I wonder if this is the day. But no, 9 stone exactly, same as last week! Decide to make the most of normal food for as long as I can. I have stopped eating regular meals now, it is too difficult what with all the hospital visits and medication that has to be taken with food. So I graze on small meals and snacks. My throat isn't sore from the Radiotherapy yet, and I manage to get through a lot of food today.
So we have a very unexpected positive day. I sometimes feel so guilty about the effect my cancer has on my family. I remember the oncologist warning me that I'll be taking them along with me on this journey if I consented to treatment. I know that during my hospital stays it was harder on them that it was on me. I ring up a few people to reassure them I am fine, and I can hear the relief in their voices.
We'd expected I'd be sick in bed all day but I feel so good so we have a normal Saturday. Housework, gardening and laundry in the morning. I feel I could do it all but I know I have to manage my energy so I just help while my husband does most of it. Then we rest on the couch in the afternoon. My husband looks relaxed for the first time in days and I'm so pleased.
The perfect end to the day is when Murray wins his semi final against Tsonga. Tomorrow is the Queens Club final and I cheerfully tell my husband what time I will be wanting the TV tomorrow. Shame he hates tennis.
Today's Positive Thought: The weekend isn't over yet.
