Well the letter has arrived from the hospital and I am going for the scan on Thursday 23rd September 2015. There is also an appointment with the Consultant 3 weeks afterwards to collect the results. I’m pleased about the timing of the scan. It’s not too long to wait but it’s far enough ahead that I won’t have to change any plans with anyone. My husband and I have decided that we are keeping what is happening to ourselves, and we should hopefully be able to go to the hospital on that day without friends and family finding out where we are going.
So all I have to do is keep myself occupied so that my mind does not wander onto unpleasant thoughts. In some ways it’s easier that before. When I first went to the hospital about my lump in Feb 2013 they said it was probably cancer but I had to wait 7 weeks for a firm diagnosis. At that time I’d never even heard of the Macmillan website and Helpline, or Macmillan nurses. I’m now in a much better position as I have all these resources available. Plus I know so many people now in the Online Community, and I have already received a lot of support and reassurance. I’ve now got my Mindfulness training which is helping me keep calm and focused. Plus the help and support of patients I met during my treatment as several have become friends who I regularly meet up with locally.
I also have the experience of previous waiting to know which distractions work for me and which don’t. Reading is good but it has to be something that keeps my concentration like a good detective novel. Similarly the TV helps but it needs to be a drama with the sort of plot that twists and turns. Audio Books are good too for stopping my mind wandering off. Playing Candy Crush is great. I get completely engrossed in that. I usually limit myself to 30 minutes a day to prevent addiction, but I intend to play at the moment for as long as I like. I’m not so keen on music at the moment unless it is something cheerful. However I have been playing The Bay City Rollers quite a bit. My husband would normally protest loudly but so far he hasn’t said anything.
What is harder is that I don’t have the mental strength and determination that I used to have. My journey so far seems to have knocked that right out of me. It doesn’t help currently having this underactive thyroid to cope with. They tell me when they get the dosage right that it will significantly help with my current lethargy and low mood. The medication is also supposed to help with my hair loss, dry skin and brittle nails.
