Life has been really good since the last blog post. Thought I'd finally walked well away from all thoughts of cancer. Then I get a tearful phone call from a good friend who is in pieces because she's been diagnosed with breast cancer. She was so kind and supportive to me all through my treatment. So of course I now want to be there for her as much as I can. Not so sure how I'm going to cope though.
The practical stuff isn't a problem. We've made a good start on that already. I thought hard about what would have made my cancer journey a little easier. So far we have managed to source affordable accomodation for her just round the corner from the hospital. So there is no daily travelling to worry about. A rota is drawn up of volunteers to do laundry, change bed linen and cook nutritional meals. Her boss has been gently persuaded to keep her on full pay and she can take as much sick leave as she wants. All that is left now is to sort out some entertainment to keep her occupied and distracted. I've been put in charge of the music. The selection has been left to me but I've been strictly warned that I am not to even think about including anything by The Bay City Rollers.
It's the emotional stuff that is much harder to deal with. I did not want to be reminded of my time at the hospital but I've ended up dragging a large box of useful books and leaflets out of storage and rummaging through it. Dragged up quite a few memories along with it which I would have rather left behind.
When I was recovering from my treatment I discovered that a few people locally thought of me as “the lady who had cancer”. I never minded at the beginning and I was even pleased when people approached me and started a conversation. I was glad I could be there to listen and to try to encourage them to see a GP about their worries. As the months went by I started to become weary of the label. Eventually I began to hate it and I remembering saying to friends that I don't want to be defined by my cancer. I don't want to be the lady who had cancer. I'm the lady who loves soul music, crime novels, tennis and Candy Crush.
Now I feel that I'm slipping back to being the lady who had cancer and that makes me feel a little sad. So as usual I will finish my blog post with some music as I find that is the best way to banish unhappy thoughts. Now this is a difficult one. Do I select one of my friend's favourites? Or shall I be selfish and finish with something that would cheer me up?
An impossible decision so we will finish with two tracks. The first is “Alone Again Or” by Love. The second is “Shang-A-Lang” by The Bay City Rollers. I'll leave you to work out which one is for her and which one is for me.
