Leave at 6.30am to get to hospital for 8am. Sit in admission lounge till 11am. People are being sent home due a bed shortage. I start to worry if I will get sent home. No it's fine, I am definitely staying but I may not have the same bed every night. Off to theatre for my 11.30am operation under local anaesthetic to install a feeding tube. I get faint when the cannula is put in. I am not looking forward to this at all!
But the staff are so kind and once the morphine goes in I feel OK. Loads of pretty pink disinfectant stuff gets sloshed all over me, and then I have to swallow the dreaded wire thing. They are going to watch it going down on an ultrasound so they know where to cut into my stomach. I am warned it is going to take several minutes, it will be uncomfortable and I might start to gag. I don't care though as the morphine has really kicked in, I just swallow the wire straight down in one go, no problem! They check the screen, yes it's perfectly in place. Everyone is delighted with me and I feel quite proud of myself.
Now there is going to be a stomach injection followed by 3 little cuts, 1 for the tube, and 2 for some temporary buttons that I had forgotten about. I'm so chilled out now that all I want to know is whether there is a colour choice for buttons? I am very fond of pink. To my disappointment buttons are only available in a boring shade of beige, but apparently they will be coming off in a couple of weeks.
My eyes are tightly shut while all this is going on as I am very squeamish. I feel a needle go in and some sort of pulling sensation but nothing has hurt. I ask them to tell me when we are starting. They tell me it's all done!
And that's all there is to it. I can't believe how quick and easy it all was. I am so relieved, I had been dreading this more than the next operation. The only drawback seems to be that I have to lay flat for 3 hours, I can't have a drink till then, and although I have a bed which I am comfortably tucked up in, there is no ward to put it on at the moment! But the lack of ward turns out to be a blessing in disguise. I am pushed into an alcove and I get a smashing nurse to sit with me. She says there is a radio and would I like to listen to something? I am soon snoozing and I think to myself how lucky I am, it wouldn't be this peaceful on a ward and I find listening to music so relaxing. Time passes quickly and soon I'm on a ward with a cup of tea.
A cancer survivor has told me that however bad a situation might seem, that you can always find a positive in it if you try hard enough. So every day I start writing the positive thought for the day in my diary.
Today's Postive Thought: Isn't it nice when something you have been dreading ends up being better than expected.
