another day gone and still finding it hard to cope

hi all

thank you so much for your reassuring words. its even more comforting when people really understand what you are going through. I have a wonderful network of family and friends and bless them they are all trying so hard to help me through this.

I know my ex-partner is not worth it and its hard as i am very emotional at the moment. Logic states i am better off, but have to get mind and heart to agree on that one.

I do feel a lot better then i did last weekend and thats a great sign. am not crying my heart out as much.

I have been poorly since last week, made worse by the emotional stress of it all. was meant to have my round 2 of chemo yesterday but low on white cells so doc gave me another week off. i have been in bed since 6pm last nite and after having lots of rest and sleep, i feel almost human.

I know it will get better. just need some time. Meanwhile I will try and get on with life, rest loads, talk to my famiy and friend here on this site and try and make things better for others who ar going thru tough times.

jas

x

hi Jazzygirl

I read your blogs as you are dealing with the same cancer problems as me, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last Sept, had my first opp Oct followed by a second in Nov to take more breast tissue and Axillery Clearance, found that hard to cope with as was really well after my first opp and the second one knocked me for 6 completely.

I was due to start Chemo when it was decided that they would do a CT Scan and Bone Scan, they also X rayed my head which really freaked me out. When I got the results I was told there was "annomaloies" on the Bone Scan so I needed an MRI, was called back the following day to be told I had secondary breast cancer in my bones, Spine, Pelvis and Clavical, so chemo cancelled.

I am Arimidex , hormone tablets and receive Pamidronate intravenously every 21 days in the chemo unit, I have now been told that the Pamidronate will continue for the duration, however long that will be. I was wondering what treatment you are receiving as I am interested to find out what else I will be having once I am no longer able to have the hormone tablets.

I am on a lot of painkillers which make me really constipated but can't take the sena tablets when Im working as the loo's are such a long walk from my office its like walking to the end of my road !!!!! and I dont want to get caught out, so am suffering with stomach pains etc as a result, bloody great !!

I also cant sleep as the hormone tablets have brought back my night sweats which I thought were done and dusted about 15 months ago, now they are back with a hell of a vengeance, so I wake up several times sweating and very uncomfortable, then go to the bathroom to wash down with cool water back to bed and back up again about 2 hours later to do the same all over again !

Im sorry your partner finished your relationship, that must be an extra strain and worry but he's not worth it, if he cant be there now when you needed his support then he wasn't worth keeping, you deserve better, in the meantime look after Number 1 and conserve your energies into resting and keeping well.

Chris

x

hi Chris

thanks for your response. I am sorry to hear that you are going through so much at the moment. Unfortunately the cancer treatments cause a lot of problems, which can sometime be hard to cope with.

speak to your breast cancer nurse and hopefully they can make suggestions to make your life easier.

When i got diagnosed with secondary cancer in the bones and bone marrow, i was given Xeloda (Capecitabine) which is an oral chemo. That stopped working earlier then we expected (about 7mths after i started it). the oncologist then put me on vinorelbine and after one course of treatent the doc stopped this a i had a reaction to this.

I am now on my third drug treatment called the 3M which is a combination of 3 drugs, but I am only on 2 drugs for now. had one treatment and having 2nd round tomorrow.

I have been so exhausted for the past few months, think its a combination of the treatment and the emotional rollercoaster of not knowing whats going to happen.

been working full time but now my doc thinks i need time off work to rest up. having trouble sleeping and am looking into relaxation/sleep CD's or anything that can help me sleep. i get hot at night as well so sleep with the window open. i would rather be cold then hot. there i a pillow that helps cool down your head, perhap you could try this. its called the chillow pillow. shop around and see if you can find a bargain. think it about £20 ish.

constipation is a big problem for me too. the anti sickness drugs mess my stomach. i take lactulose which is helpful. cannot think of any suggetions to help you. perhaps you can work from home, on the days thing are bad. is this an option that your work can offer you?

If I think of anything else will be sure to share with you.

Jas