How long do you hurt for after losing someone. It seems to be getting harder instead of easier and i dont know if i cant take it anymore. It still feels as if it was yesterday and my dad passed the 9/9/09. I still have so many unanswered questions that i cant get rid of.
Im glad my boy is better and im grateful for that. This is going to sound weird but i coped better when my boy was ill and i had to be strong for my family. Now i dont know who i am anymore im moody and bad tempered my partner says i should go to the doctors and get put on something.
My dad wouldnt approve of that he was the kind of guy to tell you to pick yourself up and wipe yourself off. I normally do that but its getting so hard to see the good in anything the now .
This is the 2nd xmas without him and it was so much harder than the 1st . My girl asked why santa never came to visit her (my dad used to dress up as santa and get stuck in the loft to make the kids laugh) i dont want to tell her the truth until she is older.
My brain isnt stopping the now and its like a broken record . I loved my dad so much he was my rock and when had a bad day he only had to give me a look to make me smile.
Im starting to forget and i dont like that he had the best accent glasgow and welsh mushed in and i will never hear that again, he had the kindest eyes and he had hands the size of shovels he was a gentle giant, i had him wrapped round my finger.
I just want the pain to stop and nothing is working i have tried focusing on the kids and its not working.
