Its starting to hit me that my dad isnt here anymore for the advice and support he gave me. Im missing him so much and im trying to be strong for brandon but i feel as if im spiraling out of control the now. My dad was the one that would tell me how everything is going to be ok and just take it easy. When im worried about brandon he would be there to tell me he will be ok and now hes not. Brandon has became a bit withdrawn the now and wont talk to me about it. I wish i was made of strong stuff like my dad said i was but im not.
I am trying everything for the kids and trying to act like normal but im crying over stupid things and thats not me. Which is upsetting the kids and im trying hard not to but i cant help it. Sorry for venting on here its just i cant tell my mum how i am the now as she isnt any better im being her rock and my sisters the two of them are finding it really hard to cope with so they turn to me. Which i dont mind but its in my head as well.
thanks for listening
choc claire xxxxxx
