i know this is going to sound really ungrateful..
and i dont mean it to sound this way..
but im still really really worried about this lump. ive still not heard for a scan date... and i dunno.... i dont want this to come across harsh or in anyway un appriciative...
but
everyone keeps telling me to stay positive... its very hard... im not sure how many people on here have gotten a lump after getting into remission, im not sure how others have dealt with it...
but for me... its hard... i cant think positive.. ive tried..
im so worried
i just dont know what to do with myself. and i no that il be having the scan in a couple of weeks... exactly what date.. i dont know.. but still finding it hard..
and i will let you all know when it is.. so im not being nasty when i say this but please dont ask... cuz i feel pressure.. i know that sounds silly.. but i dunno how else to explain it... sorry.. and it is like, when im in chat, its one after the other after the other... and i know you all dont mean it, but i dont know the answer and thats getting to me... sorry again.. not aiming at anyone individually... sorry
but please forgive me, if im not my cheerful self.. please forgive me if i dont wanna talk bout it, because right now... 24 hours a day.. all i can think about is what is this lump? what if it is the cancer back again.. cuz for all i know..i could wake up 2mora.. and this lump will have gone and i will have had all this stress for nothing.... i can dream cant i? i can hope.. and i can try to think positive.. but this minute in time... its bothering me.
