Well, This is it... my last chemo will be on Thursday... how do i feel.? Relief, worried, anxious, happy, nervous, sad... why? Because i will be out of the routine that i feel like ive been stuck in, i cant explain it, its like im able to just feel free and not feel like im going to be stuck having chemo forever, when they 1st say its 6 months of treatment u feel its a life time away, like the last one is never going to come..but wow when i think, it only feels like yesterday that i was diagnosed!! Crazy is one way of explaining it! I remember first joining this site, not knowing what it was about and how it worked, feeling really nervous about talking to people, but at the same time, i was looking forwards to hearing other peoples experiences, views and opinions.. i wouldnt of found this site if it wasn’t for another member being on the lymphoma site, so thank you..... I felt so alone before i joined this site, like everyone all my family and friends were all so gutted and sorry that i had cancer, and said they’d be here when i needed someone to talk to.. but whenever i did try to talk to them i couldnt quite explain how i felt.. they said they understood, but they never could, not really, not in the way you all do... thats why i come here.. because its great for the talks, and advice when i need it, its also great for the laughs that have got me through...because if i didnt laugh then i would cry.. and my i think ive had my fair share of tears, to many!!! There are alot of you that have helped me through my down times and i really do appriciate it, youve all got youre own lives and battles and journeys yet, you are all here if i need someone to talk to, someone to laugh with or someone just to listen...and i consider alot of you as friends, friends that i will take with me through the rest of my life, good friends, and i am glad to have met you all in here, wished it had been in different circumstances but im still glad to have found you all.... youre all so honest, thoughtful kind and caring, and its nice to come into chat for everyone to say hi emz..how you doin emz, because ive sadly found that most my friends have disappeared and left me to get on with this journey on my own, except when they want me...but im not gunna put myself down about that, im just thankful of the new friends ive met, that will mean more than the old friends that ive lost... I wont be leaving you all behind now that im due to finish, . Perhaps in time i wont come on as much, people come and go, life goes on and all that, but im not going any where just yet because i am still worried about things and im not ready to leave you all, and its still not over yet, ive got to have scans and be given the results we all want to here..and i want to see how you all get along in youre journeys and be there for you all like youve been here for me... But i guess i just wanted to say, thanks for getting me through! Thanks for being here, and well, thanks for being you.!! Lotsa love Emma xxx
