this morning in chat, with, jules and tigg, we were talking about this time last year.
jules was saying its a year since she shaved her hair.
i was sayin, in 11 days it will be one year since i was diagnosed....
then we went on to say, just how pants last years winter was.
because last october, i had been diagnosed with cancer. and its coming up to all the special things that happen in the winter, the fun things, the wintery magical things to look forwards to.
last halloween, i took my neices and nephews trick or treating, and we had a small party in the conservatory, playing party games, because we all knew that the next months werent going to be easy, and i wanted to give them a good time, my neices and nephews are everything to me, we have F, M, J, R and J.
F is 7, she is lovely,
M is 9, she is cheeky,
J is 13 he is quiet at times, but fun.
R is almost 3, and he is really the cheekiest little boy ever, but love him to bits =)
and J is nearly 2.. and hes a little monster bless him.
then, we had bonfire day. which was my 1st ever chemo day, and believe me, il always "remember remember the 5th of november" now. we had fireworks in the garden, and it was nice and special, because everyone knew i wasnt going to be up for going to the big display nights. we had a good laugh, and it was nice to enjoy the day, despite knowing id had my 1st ever chemo.
then, 21st december was my 20th birthday, it was 4 days after my 4th chemo, so it wasnt a nice birthday, i was feeling poorly, and couldnt go out to party, because i wasnt well enough, and didnt have the confidence to do anything, because id lost my hair and hated my wigs and couldnt stand wearing a hat, so i settled for a small family meal out, and shyed away in the corner.
then christmas, that was really special, we had christmas at my aunties, with all the family round, then mum had to go to work, so afterwards we went back to johns, and all his family was around. seeing my neices and nephews faces open there presents. but equally, feeling the effects of chemo, the tiredness, the sicky feeling, the having not much appetite to eat christmas dinner. but still enjoyed it.
boxing day, normally id rush round all the boxing day sales see which great bargains i could pick up, i did it.. but there was no rushing and was only out for an hour or two, before i was fed up and feeling tired. so back home, to watch christmas films on the TV.
new years eve. i had another lot of chemo, so it meant i couldnt go out partying,but id had the news my PET scan was showing clear, so it gave me more reason to keep going, and that the next new year would be better.
last winter really was the worst winter for me. but this year, i want to make up for last year, so.....
its fast approaching the 22nd, which is the day i was diagnosed last year... sooooo.... this year... i will make sure, i go out on that day, and have a meal, and a few drinks and celebrate getting into remission...
its coming up for halloween, and me and john are going to this event, now im not sure whats happening, but its quite costly, ive not been told alot about it, except, we all dress up as "thriller" theme, and go out for this meal, and then get taken into some woods, and do activities, sounds fun.. so already a better start than last year... then i guess, we will have a party for my neices and nephews.....
and i cant wait for bonfire night this year, because im going to google and find out some big displays and go to a couple of them. and class the fireworks as a celebration of getting through my chemo, and getting into remission.
and then of course... this year... i will be the BIG 21 !!! and really it is a BIG 21 because.. i am here, and i can party this year, and i intend to make it the best birthday ever!!!!!!
and for christmas, i plan to run around the shops, and christmas shop til i drop... cant say i enjoy all the wrapping up that goes with it though!!! but, this year, i will be able to taste the christmas dinner, and enjoy the company and party, and everything!!
and then new year... it will be a great new year, and i will be hoping for a better year next year, it will be another chance to reflect on the year thats almost been and gone =)
i really do love winter, its one of my favourite times of the year, because i think everything looks so pretty.
i love the snow, the frost on the trees, the way spider webs sparkle, the crunch of the leaves on the floor. all the beautiful colours of the trees and the berries, the trendy hats, gloves and scarfs you can wear,and seeing all the happy smiley faces at christmas time, went in a shop the other day, and all the christmas gifts, decorations were all out, i love it.... makes me happy.
i love the beautiful robin that visits the garden every year, hes even more special because we think the robin is grandad, and grandad died 11 years ago, but every year, summer/winter, we get this robin visit us..
not sure the point of this blog but.....
this year i will appreciate everything a hole lot more... i have some amazing friends, wonderful family. i have my fiance, and most importantly i have my health, and i am very grateful for that.
...and im looking forwards to lots of good times ahead...
