At 3.25pm on Tuesday May 8th 2018 I first heard the words. “You have prostate Cancer” At 8.30 pm 5 hours later whilst listening to my Football team Swansea City play Southampton in a battle for relegation survival I decided to write and put my feelings into Print. The words from the Doctor were like a dagger and it felt surreal. My wife grabbed my hand and I felt the blood draining from my body. I knew instinctively something was up when the Doctor came in shook my hand and said he was waiting for 2 nurses to come in. I thought why would you need a nurse unless they had found something. The Doctor was explaining the diagnosis and much of it was a blur. I hung on to the message that it had been caught early and it could be successfully treated but I kept thinking this was the worst news possible. I felt nauseous and went white and I could see the Nurses were concerned and one said I looked like I was going to faint and would I like a cup of tea with Sugar. I gave up Sugar in tea many years ago but knew I needed something to revive me. People often mock the offer of a cup of tea when in shock but that cup of tea was one of the most comforting drinks I have ever had.
Tears started to flow and the Nurse agreed that in a few hours’ time I would struggle to remember much of what had been said but with my wife we went into a private room where she answered some questions, gave us some literature and her card with her phone number and E mail address and said I could contact her any time with any questions as she was there for support. Briefly my mind went from desperation to processing the News that because I had gone to The Doctors and had a PSA check-up and tests it had been caught early and Could be successfully treated. I asked how long it would be before I would have surgery or start treatment and the Nurse said 31 days. I thought 31 days to get my head ready.
My mind wandered back to 1984 when I was 23 and my father was cruelly taken away by Bowel Cancer when he was only 55 and My Mum who bravely beat Breast Cancer twice and my Grandmother her mother who survived breast cancer but years later succumbed to secondary Cancer. Now it was my turn to face it but at least I had a good fighting chance. It has been caught early. 34 years ago, Cancer Screening and awareness was not what it is today sadly.
I was told I had two choices to have radiotherapy or Surgery and would be given help and information to reach a decision that was best for me. We then saw a Macmillan nurse who was very caring and told me I have done so well to get tested and finding out as if I had not in 5 years it could have developed into a Cancer that was not treatable. She said it was so important that Men did this. I told her it was only because of the publicity from people like Stephen Fry and John Turnbull of the BBC and a friend raising awareness on Facebook.
I was told I would need time to process what I had been told and so many thoughts flashed through my mind. What would I say to my daughter? What should I tell her? Who should I tell and how would my brother and sister react? My wife and I are due to go on Holiday to Cyprus in 3 weeks and should we still go? The Nurses said yes, we must. My wife was due to visit her Brother, Niece and Sister in Law in the USA in 6 weeks and if she could not go would the insurance pay out? How would my work react as I had only started a new job 4 months ago and was still on a 6-month probation? My head was spinning with questions. My wife was the calm voice of reassurance telling me to only focus on the important stuff.
I started to read some of the literature I was given by the Macmillan Nurses and whilst some of it was a bit over whelming it was reassuring to know there was so much support and Information available. I kept having to tell myself to be positive and to be thankful it had been caught early.
I went to bed my head full of questions and feeling in a daze. As expected it took a few hours to drift off for a bit of sleep and I kept waking up. As darkness to turned to light my life had taken a different path. 24 hours earlier I had expected to be given the all clear but life has a habit of providing the unexpected.
My wife suggested today we went out to get some fresh air and exercise which is what the Doctors suggested too and so we had a lovely trip to Hare Hill Gardens near Macclesfield where I indulged in one of my favourite passions photography and we went for tea at the local garden centre. Both activities helped me to stop completely focusing on what the Doctor had told me. As one of the nurses said the news at first consumes people but gradually you can focus on other things and the diagnosis does not always have to be centre stage. All of us deal with things differently and as the Nurse said there is no right or wrong but it is important to try and keep some perspective.
I had a lovely E mail from my Key worker Nurse who told me I was going to have Curative treatment and to be positive. I asked for my Gleason and staging Score and diagnosis which I was trying to get my head round and these are the results.
This was five months ago and after staying on active surveillance and my PSA staying stable at 9.0 I decided waiting for the Cancer to possibly spread was not something I wanted to continue long term and I knew from discussions with my wife it was not something she could deal with either.
Making a treatment decision was not easy to say the least but after much debate and consideration I decided to have surgery. I was told there are only two of them in the country and I was going to have a Robot assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy. The Da Vinci surgical system is robotic platform and consists of a surgeon’s console where the surgeon sits and carries out the operation.
I had my Pre-op at the Christie Hospital on the Monday morning and was booked in the next day September 11th 2018 for Surgery and had to be there at 6.30am. I was given only a week from being given the date to the Op which looking back was a good thing.
Around 9.20 am after signing more forms and a pre-med I was wheeled down to the Christie Theatre where on route we crashed a few times into obstacles. At one point my dry sense of humour came out and I asked for L Plates on the wheelchair.
The operation must have taken around 4 hours and I spent some time in recovery and was taken back to greet my family around 3.30pm
The sensation of the Catheter did feel very weird and uncomfortable at first but after an hour or two it settled down and I did not feel in any pain. The mild discomfort only from the 5 incisions and the drain in my stomach
The staff at the Christie Hospital were just unbelievable. I cannot praise the Nurses, Physios, Doctors highly enough. I now understand why the Christie Hospital is World renowned
I spend two nights in hospital where I felt much stronger on the second day and ready to go home. I was shown how to use the Night bag which was not as difficult as I had thought and phone numbers to ring if I had any problems. By the second day my appetite was returning and I was helped to make the first tentative steps in the hospital corridor.
Today 7 days after my OP I returned to the Christie and my Catheter was removed. According to the Nurse my Consultant gets patients who are relatively young and with no other health problems to have it removed after a week rather than 10 days or longer
The removal of the Catheter was not as painful as I had anticipated and with a few deep breaths it was out within 10 seconds. I had a bit of leakage when I first passed urine but it got better and after 3 hours I had been six times and the nurse said the volume was enough that I could now go home
Having the Catheter removed felt liberating and my movements are now much more normal and I am hoping to get a more normal sleep tonight free of bags and Tubes but the 7 days with them were more manageable than I had expected.
One week on from Surgery I am feeling stronger and more confident and feel lucky to have been in the hands of a top surgeon, his team and the fantastic nurses at the Christie Hospital Manchester. I also feel lucky it was caught early.
“Lots of people will tell you their experiences and treatment choices but do not listen to them as this will be your Journey and your individual choice”. Macmillan Nurse to me just after my diagnosis
