The waiting is the worst bit right?
Its been two weeks now hes been told he needs surgery and we are waiting for a consultation with the neurologist to determine when this might be. But we're stuck in this no mans land of not knowing anything. nothing, apart from he needs surgery. We aimlessly try and plod through the day, stress and sadness comes in waves. Some days are easier than others to get through, some are drenched in this everlasting sadness where I cant even think about anything. I always focus on doing a lovely tea, because that keeps my mind knowing that if I only do one thing that day well, I cook everyone a healthy tea. But theres always this black cloud of what ifs? And as much as we are positive, the negatives creep in like little branches and pick at you before you even realise what is happening.
My children are finding it strange. My daughter cries and cuddles her dad and asks him 3000 questions that he has no idea to answer. She briefly remembers the last time when she was 8. My 16 year old son is mad and angry. At his dad. verbally. Hes cross with him, and the fact he is ill again makes him very aggressive. My husband isnt taking this personally but I had to have a word with him to tell him he was acting unfair to his dad. It wasnt his fault, he never asked for this and he is the one facing this, alone in hospital in a pandemic to try and get him to empathise with his dad. I know hes hurting, we all are but that I couldnt watch that. hes going through enough right now and he is the one facing this physically.
So we wait, hopefully we will have a few more answers soon or some progress.
