What an extraordinary few months. Back in March, was the horrible diagnosis of an esophageal tumor, that was inoperable and I needed........ The blur starts....
Looking at my partner, my heart broke, she doesn't need this. My daughter.... Oh god.
So that's why I can't eat, that's why I'm losing weight.
They had to fit me in early and squeeze me into spots for scans,, to have an esophageal stent put in... Start chemo, see if I can have immunotherapy.
My brain didn't take it all in... I've been mentally flying by the seat of my pants since.
My relationship broke down, though we are talking and being civil for our daughter.
The impact on my emotions has been devastating. I'm Mr Happy go lucky...
I've cried over not seeing daughter grow up, my partner dealing with things on her own... The fear of leaving when I don't want to go.
My head has been everywhere.
At this moment, I find myself upset over videos on Facebook of people having family time. The heat isn't helping. Not eating properly isn't helping..... I've lost 6 stone in half a year.
I hope writing this will help.
I hope I feel better later.
I hope.... But am scared.
I'm honest.
