On Tuesday this week I had my 7th chemo treatment so only 5 more to go though I know the last 3 will be stronger. I must be prepared in case there are more side effects! I haven't written my blog for some weeks as each week is following the same pattern. The days on which I have the immunity boosting injections still tend to be the worst though nothing i can't cope with. They make me achy and even more tired than usual. I've got some really dry skin on my face and forehead so using E45 instead of usual moisturiser. It is helping. I'm not sleeping terribly well and often feel sick in the evening or during the night. The magic tablets still work quickly so this isn't really a problem. I'm putting lavender oil on my pillow and having honey and milk before I go to bed. This does seem to help the sleeping pattern. I've felt really optimistic for most of the time but this week I've had some really bad days. I think that this was triggered by the news that Rachel Bland had died. What an inspiration she was to us all - such a brave lady! Anyway I thought more and more about my situation and got really upset that I might not recover. I had a terrible night and for the first time ever we put on the TV at 3am. I then read a book for nearly an hour had some tea and eventually went back to sleep. The problem is that because of MS mobility problems my husband was disrupted too. The following morning we were both exhausted. The nurses who have been doing my immunity injections for the past month have been lovely and really supportive. As luck would have it that morning we had a visit from a very officious nurse making me feel even worse. I felt so sorry for myself and felt absolutely awful. Eventually I talked to my closest friends and found this really helped. Thank goodness I'm now back to feeling optimistic again. As one friend said every case is different and there is no set pattern. Tomorrow I've got chemo again, I know I'll be anxious again beforehand and that I'll probably have stomach ache again but I also know that I'll have amazing support from all the fantastic staff at the unit and once I'm there I'll be absolutely fine. Onwards and upwards! Also good luck to everyone else on this bumpy road to recovery.
