I have rather neglected my blog for some time despite the best intentions. I have to admit that the last couple of months have been the worst and I have had several pretty low points though there have been highs as well. I should have been more open about the lows because it does help to face them.
I had my final chemotherapy treatment on 27th November and I felt absolutely exhausted during the next few days far more so than I had previously. I also felt nauseous and had no interest in food. By The following week I was even worse and in the early evening started to feel very faint. I didn't actually faint but was very close to doing so. We rang 999 and the paramedics arrived. They were absolutely superb and very reassuring. I had an ECG, blood pressure checks, temperature monitoring etc etc. All my readings were fine and I started to feel more normal again. The advice from the helpline and from the paramedics was that because of infection it was better if I stayed at home rather than go to A and E. This was also the advice from the helpline. They also requested an out of hours GP visit. I went up to bed fortunately we have a very strong son who carried me part of the way! When the GP arrived he confirmed that everything seemed normal but said we must ring again if we had any further concerns. My body has been subjected to so many toxins for 5 months and after the final chemo I obviously reacted more violently than before. Thank goodness it didn't happened before to that extent.
About 10 days before Christmas I started to feel more normal again and we started to go out more. We enjoyed the Christmas celebrations with our family and with friends although I was very careful not to over indulge! We enjoyed our 46th wedding anniversary and had a wonderful lunch at a local restaurant. My only New Year resolution was to make the most of every day, to enjoy everything and not to feel sorry for myself. We have a fantastic family and I want to spend as much time as possible with them and watch our grandchildren grow up. We are lucky to have some amazing friends too and they have all helped me considerably during recent months. The past year has made me realise just how precious life is and we must all take full advantage of every opportunity and face every challenge with determination.
My surgery was arranged for February 9th and I was determined that nothing would delay that. I had a post chemo review visit from our local health centre but the locus who arrived to do this appeared to be more interested in my blood pressure than the fact that I was being treated for breast cancer. Quite unbelievable!! She left a spreadsheet so that I could monitor my blood pressure for a week. This proved to be perfectly normal causing me unnecessary stress. All went well at my pre op appointment but I was made aware of all the possible adverse effects which was was rather daunting. I realise that you have to be told everything but as the time drew near I was very anxious and frightened. We went out as much as possible to give me something else to think about.
I actually felt quite calm when I went into hospital on the morning of my mastectomy, although there was some trepidation there was also relief that the tumour was going to be removed at last. Also at 6.30am on a freezing day I wasn't fully awake! Luckily I was first on the list so there was no waiting around and my blood pressure was normal even as I went into the theatre. The next thing I knew I was being awakened and was in recovery. I was pretty drowsy but was back in the ward by midday. I found it quite difficult to sleep on my back for long periods of time but I did sleep a lot as the anaesthetic was obviously still in my system. I did feel some discomfort but nothing unbearable. The nurses were absolutely wonderful - what a superb job they do and such long hours.
I saw my surgeon the following day, the operation went well but because my arm is so stiff due to MS he was unable to raise it enough to remove the lymph glands under my arms. The tumour has been removed and the accessible bits of the lymph nodes. I had a drain which was in for 10 days, today it was removed together with the dressing. I do look a strange sight but am sure I will get used to that and it won't be too noticeable with the right clothes. My white blood cell count is normal so I don't need to worry about CLL at the moment which is good news. I get the results of the biopsy in a fortnights time and may need radiotherapy after that. I am still having bouts of negativity and i don't know what the future has in store but for once age is on my side as breast cancer tends to be less aggressive in older women. I will see the breast nurses again next week to check everything and possibly have any fluid drained. The aftercare is excellent, I have nothing but praise for the NHS.
Tonight I am hoping for a more comfortable sleep without the drain at my side and I look forward to the future but not without trepidation. My next post will be after my results, fingers crossed!
