25 September 09

kateco - sounds like you are feeling like I am. May sound bit stupid, but at lesat your Mum is having a quick turnaround on the treatment side of things so no time is being wasted. You will cope - you may struggle (I am), but there is help out there - start with the breast care nurse and talk to people. Ask questions - I haven't asked enough, but then when in shock I didn't know what to ask about what happens to my sister. Treatments have advanced and things do look better now. Can't say it will be easy, but I find if I know what I'm dealing with then I can cope. I don't know how old you / your mum are, but you can go to see the Onco etc and ask away.

Be strong & keep in touch. X

Hi Kateco

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I don't know how old she is but I am 62 years young. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January and had a wide local excision in February. I had a 2cm tumour and a 5.1/2 cm mass of pre-cancer cells. These were removed and I am one of the lucky ones in that my lymph nodes were clear. I have been having CMF chemo for the last 5.1/2 months and yipee my last one is next Thursday.

All I can say to you is the same as comments by Jewels. Ask questions, don't be afraid to ring the Breast Unit any time to tell them of you fears and anxieties.  The main thing is to stay positive, I have and that is the only was I have got through this. Help your mom as much as you can - unfortunately all of my three adult offspring live quite a distance from me (one in Germany) so I only see them occassionally but talk on the phone all of the time. Your mom is lucky to have you near. Just be there to listen, take her out if possible because I find being out of the home is theraputic and I can forget my 'illness' while I am out.

I felt it useful in my early days to keep a book and pen handy and I wrote down all of my fears and frustrations (and the odd swear word) and this helped my greatly. I don't need it now but it does really help.

Hi Kateco, I am a breast cancer survivor.  Just been to hospital, six years since diagnosis and no longer require any treatment.  I was lucky in that I did not have any spread to my lymph nodes, but I have friends who had a lot of lymph nodes affected and they are still here today with no sign of recurrence.  One of my friends who had lymph node involvement actually had four tumours in her breast and is doing well.

I hope this goes some way to reassure you and I hope everything goes well for your mum.  Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk or ask anything.  Best wishes, Christine xx

Hi Jewels, Mommyw and Chrisine R.  Thanks for your replies.

Mum is definitely going in next Monday to have rest of her nodes removed but she is in awful form.  Her wound is really hurting her from having her breast removed and she hates the idea of reopening the same wound.  She also has an awful cold and is worried in case they won't take her in but it is 5 days until she goes in so hopefully it will be well cleared up by then.

She is such a strong woman and it is awful to see her like this.

Her lump was 1.9cm and a grade 2 which the hospital seemed very positive about.

Jewels - I agree with wanting to know about what is happening - If I know what mum will be going through then I feel more in control (control freak, thats me!!!)

Mommyw - it must be hard not having your children nearby.  My sister lives in London (we live in Belfast) and my brother suffers from depression so my mum has a lot to cope with.  I just feel I cannot do or say anything that can help and feel pretty useless.

I don't want to make a big big fuss of it and end up worrying her or to trivalise it and make her think we don't care.

Sorry - I am going on now so I will sign off.

Thanks again for your help.

Kate xx