My mum has stage 3 breast cancer and is currently undergoing chemo. She has just had her fifth lot of chemo and is feeling very low. I don't live close to her and often work weekends so I find it hard to see her as much as I like, but when I do I find it shocking how weak and vulnerable she is, she has really lost her sparkle. Speaking to her on Friday night, she told me she doesn't want to have her last chemo, that she can't take it anymore. She said to me she would rather die then go through the chemo. I find this so hard to hear, when her prognosis is so good and I know she doesn't mean it, but it's just so hard to know what to say. She knows quite a few people that have had breast cancer, but no one that has had chemo and she isn't the sort of person to call Macmillan for help. She gets annoyed when people tell her 'it will get better'. But what else can you say? I just want my old mum back
Katie x
FormerMember
Hi Katie, it is tough watching someone you love go through this treatment, and is equally tough for the patient. Having been through chemo myself I did get to a really low point when I thought it would be easier to call an end to it rather than carry on. The chemo does pull you down and it was only my family encouraging me on that kept me going. But, like your mum, my prognosis was good, and the treatment worked. That is what you must encourage her to focus on. I would suggest you join the breast cancer group on here as they will give you support and may have some information and tips to help you both. Take care hun, I wish your mum every success in her treatment xxx
Hi Katie, my mother went through the same feelings. Mum was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer back in 2012 and doctors urged mum to have chemo first before surgery and radiotherapy. Chemo was devastating for mum. She didn't have the energy to leave her bed. She didn't want to go outside. She couldn't hold down food and all smells irritated her and made her feel nauseous. It's so hard to see someone you love so much go through so much pain. What made chemo worse for mum, was that the nurses could never find her veins. We would be in the chemo ward an hour or two before chemo, just so the nurses could prick mum like a pin cushion to get to her veins. It was terrible.
What kept mum going through all this was, family. Call your mum as much as you can, although she may not have the energy to speak/listen. I would urge you to take a few days off from work and go with your mum for her last chemo. Just seeing your face and holding your hand, I am sure, will raise her spirits. I know it's hard to plan around this, but try to explain the situation to your work and get some compassionate leave. It really will make the world of difference for your mum x
