22nd October 2009
Mom decided before we even reached home last Tuesday that she wanted to give chemo a try regardless of the risks. Her thoughts are that if she does not try she will never know. She has a pre assessment at the chemo unit on Monday and they will hopefully then give her a date to get started. It feels like an age since we were told that mom has cancer and I know she just wants it started now. I know she is very scared but she is being so brave. She is amazing me with her strength but I know from bitter experience that when faced with such awfulness an inner strength that you never knew you had somehow comes to the surface. Mom is experiencing some pain but at the moment this is controlled with regular painkillers. She has also developed a very dry cough but she is struggling to cough as this is causing her pain. It is hard to know now if anything that she feels is related to the cancer or just coincidence. I know she is finding it hard to sleep as when all is quiet and the rest of the world sleeps it is then that our greatest fears seem largest and we feel so alone.
I love you mom and you are amazing xxx
