Feeling so lost now.

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

23 Nov 2010

Well it has been over two weeks now since my precious mum died. The last two weeks have in themselves been heartbreaking, with having to arrange mum's funeral and emptying out her bungalow. As I locked her door for the final time yesterday I was so sad that the smell of her home was one I would never smell again.

I still have small things to take care of but really I am lost now I am not travelling back and forth to Mum's. The month before she passed away we were juggling everything around spending time with Mum and for the year before that there was never a day that we did not communicate with each other in some way and now there is nothing!

I keep hearing and seeing all about christmas but I am finding it hard to even think about it. I have a young family and Mum would want me to make it special for her grandchildren if nothing else but I don't know how. I have not retured to work yet and feel guilty about taking time off.

I just feel drained and whilst I would not have wished to be anywhere other than with Mum when she passed away it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I keep seeing her face as she took her last gasps and my heart breaks a little bit more.

I know it is early days but I feel like I am carrying a weight to heavy for me to manage. In 5 years I have lost my son, my father and now my mother and not sure I can continue to cope as I have in the past.

Im sorry I don't think I am really making sense I seem to be rambling and I hope I do not sound as though I am after pity, I really do try to accept life for what it is and I know that I have also been very blessed with the people who have touched my life both those here and those no longer with us.

Hugs and strength to you all

Teresa xxxx

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Teresa,

You have been through a very hard time this last 5 yrs. Iam not suprise that your drained and depressed. Why dont you go and have a chat with your GP. Its good to get things off your chest. A problem shared is a problem halfved. Talk to members of your family about how you feel. If that fails try and get to see a Councillor. You have yourself and Family to think about. I send you my strength and support and hope it helps a little. All the best and good luck.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Teresa,

You made perfect sense honey and all the things you are feeling you are so allowed to feel and think.

Strength comes in all shapes and sizes and you will find some somehow..

Take care of you and your family...

Hugs to you

Debbie

xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Dear Teresa, grief takes many forms and you have had so much to deal with I'm not surprised your mind and body are struggling. Take a day at a time, be kind to yourself, but don't be afraid to ask for help, as Sarsfield suggests. Take care, Val X
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Deat Teresa

Words will never fill the emptiness that you feel just now, friends can help to ease the pain a little xx You have had to deal with so much loss, I am not surprised that you feel as you do.

I am still trying to come to terms with losing mum, and feel the same as you do about how mum passed and also about christmas, so am at a loss as to what to say in comfort.I do however, know, that putting things down in black and white here gives a chance to organise our thoughts and feelings when it is difficult to say them out loud.

It is still very early days and you are still worn out and drained. Give yourself a little time each day just for you and try to keep all the treasured memories at the front of your min, they are with you in your heart forever. xx

Thinking of you,with love Sharonxx
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