Hello again, It's been a while since I blogged. I had lost connection and didn't get round to connecting it.
It's been a rollercoaster from day one and it hasn't gotten any easier. My mother and big sister Alvina fell out. My dear mum is going under radiotherapy again because they still can't determine whether or not she's cleared of thyriod cancer yet. She'll have to go through it all again. Not seeing her favourite little granddaughters as she'll be radioactive, not having much taste, feeling really sick, depressed and weak.
With my dad, who has terminal colon cancer, my wish came true for a while. It was like a miracle! the Doctor told us the MRI Scan showed that all the nodules and the primary all shrank! It was just too good to be true. Turns out it was.
Just 2 days ago, dad got the latest MRI result and... the numbers of nodules have multiplied, his primary has enlarged itself. The doctors told us the cancer is now resisting the chemo drug they were giving him and gave my dad two choices.
Change to a different type of drug that we don't know if his body will... adapt to. Or go on holiday and have a quality life. Which basically means "good luck, have fun, enjoy it while you can!" ?
I knew this was coming purely because one early morning I was called over to my parents flat because dad had collasped in the bathroom to pain from his abdomen. We put it down to eating something that was off but I guess I've gotten perssimistic, but i was shocked at the results How can it be? It's been a short time since the report before which was really good news. Why? Why isn't the chemo drug working now? Everything was going so well...
So I called up Ayame(2nd eldest sister, 9 years older than me), she's found out and like me... we didn't know what to do. The conversation went quiet a few times, only interupted by Ayame telling DeeDee to "eat before it gets cold", "put that DS down!" and "don't climb up there!" which normally I would laugh at but thinking about whether DeeDee would remember her "grandpapa" I was just speechless. Our conversation time ended as Ayame had to go tend to her resturant, it left me sat on my couch, staring in to space again, same place I was when I first found out and was finally left alone so i could let it all out. I tried to contain my emotion, I buried myself under playing Guildwars, MarioKart, Brawl, etc. None of it worked much, My mind still wondered and there's quite a few thoughts floating around in my mind. In my voice, in my head, I would say "you do know that means... even if you get pregnant or even give birth now, your child probably won't remember their grandad, right?", "what's mum going to do?... "Radiotherapy and bad sleep is not good.", "Is dad really going to go?",
continoued...
Love
Momoka
xXx
